Respite

It’s frequently a piece of advice which some caregivers have come to resent.

It is given in a spirit of concern, but some of us feel it is de trop. “I know I have to take care of myself,” one of my confederates said. “I don’t need to be reminded.”

Take care of yourself. If you don’t you won’t be able to take care of your person.

This is a sincere suggestion. We know it instinctively.

However, we sometimes don’t act on it.

I pride myself on having insisted from practically day one of my honey’s illness on getting care for him. This was also care for me.

I frontloaded a care schedule for him so I could get out.

I am pretty adamant about my time for me to go to the gym, out with friends, walking, and on one sweet occasion to see the Ballet Hispanico perform. (A great half-hour presentation that gave me joy as fuel.)

More recently, I was able to enjoy a special luncheon for Weill Cornell Medicine. There was a wonderful refreshing component in the midst of the food [good], drink [nice], company [great], and speeches. The painter and performance artist Dan Dunn was that extra attraction.

I am bragging a bit. The truth is that these kinds of respite are rare.

The ballet performance and the lunch event brought me back to pleasures I had missed. They took me out of my routine.

This was a way to recharge beyond the usual. Sometimes, we need that.