From October 2023 Everyone seems to have settled on calling this a journey. I get it. Life is a trip we take. It’s a journey we have undertaken and a course that we are set upon to follow. Whither it takes us, we go. Like many others amongst us, our journey took us to unexpectedContinue reading “Where we are (2)”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Your story (on repeat)
Memory fades. Not just yours, my dear which was strangely altered and crippled by the dementia with which you suffered. Everyone’s. It, like the hearing of which couples complain, can be selective. Or just inaccurate. It was a gift to me when you recounted so much of your life story to me. Some of itContinue reading “Your story (on repeat)”
Our outdoor weekend
reprinted from Oct 2024 This morning, Burt asked me what I was doing yesterday. I said I was in the park with you. “I didn’t see you. Why didn’t you come say hello?” It now occurs to me that Burt is antsy in the park when he doesn’t realize I am with him. Our outdoorContinue reading “Our outdoor weekend”
Things to learn along the way
Self-care includes cutting yourself some slack. Kindness to your loved one, to others, and to yourself will make the journey easier. It is thanks to Burt that I have so many friends among my neighbors. I mentioned my inability to open my window a few days ago. Today, my friend offered to help with thatContinue reading “Things to learn along the way”
From February 26, 2025, Subject: Burt
It feels odd sharing news of Burt’s death in an email or text. It feels odd having that news to share.He lived large and well right up to his last few days. Even during 4 years with dementia he found some connection with people, and pleasure in making that connection. His world shrank dramatically inContinue reading “From February 26, 2025, Subject: Burt”
PickingUp Tickets
Standing by the box office, I realize that this was Burt’s natural habit. He was always, we were always at the box office. Burt, as I no doubt mentioned, loved getting tickets. Seeing an older couple approach the booth, I find myself teary eyed. That was us. Seeing them go to talk to the ticketContinue reading “PickingUp Tickets”
That village [re-blogged]
It takes a village. Hillary Clinton on bringing up children but applies as well to how society runs Good neighbors. They have provided continuing support for me. My personal cavalry when, one day, Burt was so agitated about going out to the street that he rammed his walker against a wall. Down he went. AContinue reading “That village [re-blogged]”
Another trove of pix (repost)
Another trove of pix Photo memories. They mean a lot to me.
Self-knowledge
Which relationship has taught you the most about yourself? One should learn as a child, but the parent-child relationship is far and away not conducive to this kind of self-reflection. We are not ready. We are not yet equipped to absorb who we are. Mind you, my parents were around into my adulthood. I lostContinue reading “Self-knowledge”
Advocacy (redux)
A provider is giving me a hard time over my healthcare proxy. They’ve refused to discuss Burt’s plan of care until they vet my proxy. This morning, while mulling my frustration, I thought oh come on. I have the marriage certificate.* That should be proof enough. [*Side note: a beautiful copy of this docunent arrivedContinue reading “Advocacy (redux)”
