TheRealTamara

Rakish

It’s a Sunday pastime of mine, going through photos, looking for the one or dozen that tickle me the most.

Watch Burt talks coffee break 2023

This is one of two videos I have of Burt. Two videos in which I can hear his voice. The cellphone has me made others with the phone’s choice of musical score. I uploaded this to my Vimeo feed today. Click below to see (and hear): There’s two people involved, Burt tells me. It’s aContinue reading “Watch Burt talks coffee break 2023”

Caring

Witnessing a loved one suffer any long, drawn-out illness is painful. Of course, it is. When my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given six months to live, it felt like we were embarking on this together. I wasn’t the one who would die, I know, but we faced her last days in solidarity.Continue reading “Caring”

Reminiscing

Burt was my photo model and this is one of my [many, many] favorite shots. There’s a teasing smirk in the smile, yet the fun is there. He noted when I took pictures of him and was pleased to have the camera turned towards him. I am pleased to have such a treasure trove ofContinue reading “Reminiscing”

The last 5 years

There are so many pictures of Burt, mostly during the journey, but a lot of us at ballgames, on walks having fun. The photos perch on every free surface in both rooms or sit tacked to the wall. Our wedding photos, and an album, are also part of the decor. The photographic reminders take meContinue reading “The last 5 years”

In the end

We do all we can to give loving care for our loved one who is broken by this disease. We are diligent and devoted. It is what we do while we give care. We are grateful for the opportunity to share the last years with someone we love. We ensure that he has a secureContinue reading “In the end”

Burt deserved the extraordinary [redux]

Burt was extraordinary. He and I had lived a happy, carefree, and modest life. We had no ambition to stir us towards greatness. He had daydreams of coaching a hapless team with me in the dug- out by his side. Sometimes. Not an ambition. We were impressed by talent and in Burt’s case that meantContinue reading “Burt deserved the extraordinary [redux]”

Dear Reader

My superstitions always warned me that this subscription was too long into the future. 2031 is still many years away. For me even 5 years takes me near to my mid 80s. Burt would have been 92 before Aug ’31. Not ancient but neither of us cool enough to follow the Matrix. Truth to tell,Continue reading “Dear Reader”

He was such a Fan-boy

Burt loved meeting actors. It was easily done. This is NYC, after all, and actors walk among us. My contribution was recognizing the stars. Burt did the chatting. For his 84th (surprise) birthday party, I invited two actors whose resumes crossed paths with very famous entertainers. Bob’s stories amused him, but that day he wasContinue reading “He was such a Fan-boy”

Expensive

The cost of this illness is enormous. Lewy Body Dementia cost my beloved his reason, his connection to reality, or more importantly to us both, his connection to me. And it lost me the connection we had had, my connection with him. The physical connection became as tenuous as the fragmented reality he suffered. Affection,Continue reading “Expensive”