Yesterday, I was thinking about what it would be like spending the afternoon on a river- facing bench across the 78th Street bridge.
These were late night thoughts and late night sadnesses.
There was sadness in the thought; I couldn’t do so without missing Burt who frequently sat with me on that bench.
It had been our happy place for so many happy years.
The memories are of blissful times, yet I cannot imagine taking my spot by the river without him.
Things happen as we get engrossed and distracted by caregiving. I managed to misplace (a polite way to say lose) our marriage certificate. I feel a lot better about it since Googling that replacement can be done easily and online. Looking for the missing item also gave me an opportunity to sort through documents. The rearrangement […]
On the side
How did you meet your significant other?
Not in the funny papers as my comic id wants to say, but in NY Press, a printed news sheet. It was free, found in little boxes around town. The meet your mate or date section was also free. In short, I answered Burt’s personal ad.
He called (my office), we chatted that Thursday and made a date (in a public place) for Friday.
All protocols followed.
If you could relive one day from your past, which day would it be and why?
The day Burt and I went on our 2nd date. A day that led us to the many years we had together.
Here’s the story of the picture [L] with the Blues Brothers vibe; I’ve shared this at length with A. who was curious about this photo in my pictorial. It’s a memory from the 2nd year that Burt and I were together. We were invited to party for Judith E’s birthday–who was married to Jim M, […]
Back to the “from before”
Good memories are what you want to keep both during the journey and when it’s ended.
This is a post in tribute to those.
My role as a caregiver to a person with [Lewy Body] dementia demands I get acquainted with psychosis. A calm and contained demeanor is preferred to one in which I freak out. In a tour of an exhibit in which art and psychiatry crossed paths, it became clear to me that the psychotic makes me […]
Stay calm
Focus on yourself.
Your loved one will never get short shrift under your watch. The gaze of self-care is usually a bit myopic.
Chances are that you will draw the shorter end of the stick as you walk the journey with your person. You will learn to advocate. You will be aware of signs and symptoms and quick to respond. It is very likely as well that you will ignore something about yourself.
Today, I asked a writers’ group to look at “what I am learning about me while I am giving care.“
The one point of self-care I stuck with was always to be sure I had some time for myself. Going to lunch with friends and the gym gave me a breather and it did make a huge difference. That may not be a lesson per se….
The “job search” seems to have ended in a mystery job. Mystery to me, at least, but it is vague to Burt as well. He wants me to get him business cards (albeit they’re round, as he describes them). He assigns numbers to his staff, and I am #1 tomorrow, then #2 the next day, […]
Burt’s on top of it
It’s enlightening when I read posts about the passages of our journey. I forgot about that time when Burt had a desire to find a job and its aftermath when he seemed to have found one.
There was a box I had labeled pictures. It was an activity box I had put together for Burt.
Actually a box of memory for us to look at what life had been like, recently, and in our past. I opened it yesterday and left the albums out for me to peruse.
There we were on ballfields and river walks, all before Burt became ill. Two of the albums are of Burt after the diagnosis; there are four with us in various poses.
It doesn’t matter that I can’t say I remember the occasion on which we wore sombreros, while dressed in office attire.
So good to see us, together on the Brooklyn Bridge, in front of the 116 Street Target, in Princeton!
What are you curious about? You, you have caught my attentionAnd piqued my curiosity. What is itYou do? Why are you going so fast? Is there a race in your mind to whichI remain uninvited? Where is it you go?Are you in a hurry? Silly question. You are. Speed slowed automobileDevelopment. It was a distraction. […]
Curiouser (a poem)
When I reread this this morning, I realized it could be a poem of wonder. Wonder linked to Burt.
this is our life