Hallucinations

Well, yes, it is a good thing that they’re not scary. Burt’s hallucinations are mostly benign. A group of pals and co- workers he’s gathered into our home. They make him feel connected, I think, and less alone.

His dreams and delusions seem, on the other hand, to be frightening. He is always lost without money on some form of transportation.

While he was in the rehab facility, he was barefoot and sometimes naked on the subway just about every night.

With this dream re-emerging recently, I dove into reality. “I was with you last night. I’ve been with you every night. This must have been a nightmare you were having.”

It’s surprising that he was able to acknowledge that it might be the case.

Yes, it was a dream, but how do you stop it? he asked me one night.

He might, in a lucid moment, recognize that they’re not real, but his contradictory brain disease forces him to accept his hallucinations, delusions, and dreams as a reality.

In fact, Burt will acknowledge a hallucination but go back to supporting its reality. It is very strange.

It’s that compulsion to believe what he thinks he sees that is stronger than any reassurance I can give.