Bitter Sweet

This is what I shared with a group of my fellow LBD spouses about our 32nd anniversary:

It’s the anniversary we’re not celebrating this Friday. I am so glad we did have his 84th surprise party and my birthday with friends when he was able to engage and enjoy. 

Burt’s current downturn makes those recent celebrations that much more poignant.5

The other day, we had a substitute aide (uh oh). He called me at the gym: “This time, you’re going to jail. You can’t have someone too young to stay with me. She’s 11.” Then she was 1100, then 55. Whatever, the cops weren’t letting me off. I was willing to be amused.

The aide, by the way, did an amazing job deescalating this bonkers (yes, I use the clinical term) by reading to him. The script was the various books of appreciation I had made for him for his birthdays. (He said she read to me how much you love me blahblahblah.)

All still pretty funny. Later in the evening, the comedy routines subsided, but Capgras visited.

I wonder what it is that turns on the recognition switch. “Thank god you’re here. Where have you been? I’ve been calling you.” His relief at those moments is real. And it makes my heart go pitterpatter.