It may be harder to keep a focus on love and kindness as your pwd’s world unravels.
Burt is less of who he was in our every daily interaction.
I hear wild stories about his many wives.
He tells me of his safe-but-crazy rides in “his car” with a group of friends by way of encouraging me to take him out on his walker.
This always well after bedtime.
He regales me with reports on his job search.
In the morning, he tells me that I wasn’t there when he needed me last night. There are more tales, some scary and some boasting of derring-do.
I feel like a strict and unpleasant kindergarten teacher exhorting him to stay in bed.
Or refusing him anything.
Yet refuse, I must. It’s one more layer of loss; I am not his wife so much as a disciplinarian; we are reduced to living by my rules.
This is one narrow road and a lot of our relationship is left on the wayside.
In staying focused on the positive I have to remember who he was, who we were.
It’s that other component, the love and kindness, that need my full attention.
this is our life 