What is slipping away

As Burt’s Lewy Body Dementia progresses

There is no logic, so Burt has odd explanations of how things – even in his own body – work. 

Being able to define tasks, follow through, and find order go out the door with logic.

Things he knew and understood are forgotten. This is not memory loss it’s cognitive impairment.

He doesn’t recognize his wife, [that would be me]. This could be amusing, but it is mostly sad and unsettling.

Since he is convinced that there are multiple Tamaras, I often wonder which one I am. He can’t help me with that.

There are many things now with which he no longer can help.

He asks me to identify myself, but often doesn’t take the answer at face value. [Now there’s a funny image to go along with this particular frustration.]

In the short term, there are things that are forgotten. This is, of course, memory loss.

The components of what is called executive function are also lost. Inhibitions and impulse control, as well as any ability to plan, are part of this loss.

Working memory falls under this loss, too.

His sense of time has changed; time basically has no meaning, but its illusive nature haunts him. “What time is it?” is repeatedly asked.

The answer is seldom heard or understood. His watch stopped, but before it did, he would reset it several times a day to a wrong time, one different from the one we told him.

Burt’s memories are a jumble. His confusion sometimes feels as if it’s contagious.

Language is a mysterious blend of made-up words [an intentional quirk] and unintelligible ones. It’s sad because he loves to talk and he really wants to communicate.

Numbers don’t add up either. He was a finance guy, so this is losing a part of his self, his being, his history, and his story.