Oh, that famous river is always right over my shoulder.
Is it my heart that keeps me from accepting the inevitability of this disease?
Burt has been declining, as in sooo much more confused, delusions and hallucinating to beat_the_band.
He also is often sleeping more, although the fact that he’s up half the night contributes. He is also much weaker.
Are these phases or a downturn that won’t go back up? Who knows?
I know what I am wishing for.
The goal is to find acceptance. From the perspective of denial, I am working on it.
We are 4 years (±¼) past dx, but Burt just seemed to dive right into the hard stuff right off. A little Capgras with a dose of little people, etc, at the start. Drugs helped for about the next 3 years, but now he’s just not making any sense.
And now he’s sleeping more and weak, so half the time he doesn’t get off the bed. One day, he was up for the bathroom but returned to lie down. He ate well (we have to feed him to assure he eats) and fell asleep right after.
Over this past weekend, he slept much of Saturday but was up most of the night and still awoke at 7am. The carer got him to standing just long enough to change him and fix the bed on Sunday.
Despite the fact that he’s eating, he seems to be malnourished. When he sleeps through like he did today, he doesn’t get enough food. Obviously.
All this leads me back to that list of feelings. Sad Sorrow Teary.
this is our life 