Long ago, that’s what 4 years feels like, Burt needed only companion care.
Or, I needed it for him so I could feel he was safe and not alone while I took time for myself. I always knew the time for myself was a necessity if I would make it through the slog.
Along the way, we went through a large number of caregivers. Burt was picky, and I respected that he needed to spend his time with someone he liked.
Some agencies sent an aide without interviewing the family. Some sent a nurse along on the first day to assess the care plan.
Others had a vetting procedure. On one such visit, Burt really liked the nurse and social worker who came to see us.
He was enjoying the attention and asserting himself. His banter was verbally aggressive. Burt made it clear that he would be the boss. Burt’s aggression was mostly performative.
The agency turned us down.
They said they couldn’t subject their caregivers to any hostile behaviors.
I told the agency’s coordinator I felt like my child was denied a place in kindergarten.
I also, more seriously, wondered why professional home health aides weren’t able to handle a common issue in dementia care.
Aggressive behavior is often seen in dementia patients, more often in those with Lewy Body.
Burt’s PT left when Burt hit him on the arm. Under similar circumstances, a substitute aide told me Burt couldn’t do that when he tapped her.
At the next PT session, Burt was back to his cooperative self. In the instance with the aide, I held his hand while she turned him.
Burt fights being turned. Not hard, but with resistance. He sometimes curses his “attacker,” or lashes out, but is conciliatory when we identify ourselves. “We’re just trying to help you, Burt.”
Words of comfort or reassurance usually defuse his confusion and anger.
That early rejection from the agency had me worried that there would be no respite on this journey.
I am grateful that that is not the case.
this is our life 