I’ve just said, “I love you” in response to his conversation. I did not understand what he said. “I love you” is a standard retort.
It reassures me/him. The minute after I affirm my love for him, I doubt myself. Why do I run from the room, leave his bedside mid such conversations? I state the love and leave. Do I really if I am pulled away?
His childish logic and ill-formed reasoning is heartbreaking.
Every interaction tugs at my heart; I exit the room in the mode of self-protection. I don’t want to feel pity for a man so diminished by his disease.
It’s clear that it’s more than pity that drives me to proclaim my devotion.
I do feel the sorrow of it. I also really truly deeply feel the love.
My coda is from Moonstruck in approximated text
«Do you love him, Loretta?« «Awful, mom.« «Oh that’s too bad. When you love them, they can break your heart.«
this is our life 
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