When Burt was newly diagnosed, he was feisty. He was difficult. He was contrary.
His willfulness made it hard to divert and redirect him. He would argue, fight, and dispute my plans for his care.
I would say (or think about) all those stories I had heard of dementia patients who were sweet and docile. Why hadn’t my spouse become an easygoing guy? Why wouldn’t he just sweetly go along?
Since his months’ long decline, he has been sooo much easier. He doesn’t complain and only reacts with a little anger when our shifting him in bed scares him. Generally, these days, it’s only a cry of fear. Once upon a time, we could count on his cursing us.
He’s that easygoing guy now. Like many things characteristically Burt, I have come to miss the curses. He’s so sweet that his mild temper makes it easier for us to make loud noises or turn on lights. These things usually no longer annoy him.
He seems content, but he’s seldom as happy as he was when something tickled his fancy or amused him.
I miss Burt’s reactions of annoyance and displeasure. I miss his highs and signals of joy. I miss the tough guy. I miss the laughing guy. I miss the feisty, difficult guy.
I miss Burt.
this is our life 
Tamara, I know Burt only from your posts and support group, and I miss him too. And I miss the man I married, brain now possessed by LBD. As I trudge off to the tax accountant today, inadequately prepared, I remember the days of his preparation. Engineer brain, he would drive us, briefcase, file, and carefully prepared numbers, practically doing the work for her — it was almost embarrassing. Now embarrassing for how ill-prepared I am, but she is kind. Now my dear husband is so anxious he won’t even go with. Sigh. A small thing, but one of many. They add up. I get it. Holding you and all of us who live with this unwanted interloper, Lewy Body Dementia.
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Cate, I am so sorrowful for all of us. T
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