Planning

Have I told you that my party plans for May 3rd have proven to be healing?

The choice of venue is close and that pleases me.

On my way home from a site visit, I said, smiling and speaking to myself alone Burt will be so surprised.

Preparing to throw a celebration of his life is a happy activity. It feels good.

The first surprise party that I had thrown for Burt was in 1994 for his 55th birthday. It was truly a surprise, despite our running into one of Burt’s friends at the coat check.

We treated this encounter as a coincidence. Joe just happened to be at Elaine’s, we said. And he was genuinely surprised when all the other friends greeted him inside the private room.

One of the surprises of Lewy was that Burt caught on to the fact that I was throwing him a party for his 84th. People arrived to the apartment and the cat was out of the bag. He was thrilled.

A year later, for his 85th, he again caught onto the ruse.

He whispered to me: I know what you’re doing. That was accusatory. So, he knew I had thrown him another surprise party and he was not pleased.

This time, he was distant and a bit annoyed.  No wonder, given that he had been in a continuing decline over the previous several months. I knew that he might not react with the same spirit of the 84th.

On this occasion, he was listless and he didn’t connect with his well-wishers.

I regret none of that. The 85th birthday party, as I now know, would be his last. I am glad I celebrated it for him.