It’s hard to feel like you’re thriving in the midst of the downward cycle of dementia.
My policy, as I have often called it, was to get help in early so I could get “me time.” It was to save myself, to keep from drowning, to stay positive.
In retrospect with Burt-dear Burt- gone, I miss having more time with him.
Not a realistic regret. Time away and to myself made it possible to value time with him. I NEEDED the time on my own time.
I want a little of both because what I really want is that he not have been ill and that I could have had time with the old Burt, the from-before Burt. I came to love him in his dementia, in some ways more deeply than I ever thought could be, but boy could I have enjoyed more time with him with all his faculties intact!
I have survived his illness as he has not and now I am learning what to do with all this “me time” his absence necessitates and gifts me.
this is our life 