Some things I remembered this morning
When Burt was in the rehab after a fall in which he broke a hip bone during a bout with Covid, he’d call me with an escape plan. He said we could meet by the front door and sneak out to go home.
He’d wake his roommates yelling out my name during the night. I was well aware how much he loved me and deeply touched by his devotion. It’s his love that I carry in my grief over his loss.
We lived so many lifetimes over the five years of his illness.
A few years prior to that long stint in rehab, he started off in Lewy-land with a deep dive into hallucinations and Capgras. By the time he went to the rehab center on 79th Street, he was no longer hallucinating and he knew who his wife was. A few years later, he would go back to the hallucinations and often wonder where his wife was.
Despite a long stay with lots of PT, I was nervous about bringing him home, unsure if I could provide the care.
Once home, he complained that they didn’t tell you you couldn’t go home until you graduated from physical therapy. He probably didn’t put it quite that way but it is what I had told him.
Over the last 2 years, with him at home, he fell 6 more times. 4 with me, one with his aide, and one while walking with his OT. Three of his falls were more like melts likely from a drop in blood pressure.
Recently, I noticed that he was released from rehab two years to the day prior to his passing. This was jarring. Such a short time, yet so eventful.
He never broke any bones, I am happy to say.
The first time with me was soon after his homecoming. We were feeling emboldened and merrily circling the livingroom with a rollator.
For Burt’s next fall, I think he was betwixt and between over going out.
He rammed the walker into a wall knocking himself off balance. A slew of our neighbors surged to help him up. Our doorman noticed his mischievous grin as he was hauled up.
On one of his melts, I was able to hold onto him on his way down. A neighbor helped hoist him up.
We had so much help from our neighbors during all of Burt’s illness. Fittingly, many of these helpful, supportive folks joined in celebrating Burt on May 3rd.
this is our life 