Thinking of…

I am in a bereavement group at the moment. This is my second go at tackling, no taking in this kind of support.

Why not? It’s very helpful talking to others recently bereft. We see the stages so much more clearly when they filter in other’s eyes. I try to be honest with my group, just as I try to be honest with you.

On Tuesday, I said, half-guiltily, that I hadn’t written about Burt in a long while. Truth? It turned out, upon examination, that it had been 4 days. On the fifth, I posted. Two days ago, which now feels again like a long time.

And there are other blogs where I have remembered / mentioned Burt. Today, I had a somewhat unpleasant procedure on my knees [🤞this will prove helpful], and my memory turned to the Central Park Carousel. Burt and I spent one terrific afternoon on the horses.

It was his idea; I do temember that.

I don’t remember if we were just passing by or if he had suggested we go play.

There is a process to grieving, but it is not a clear path. It is circular. It is omnipresent. It brings both pain and joy. When I think of Burt, it hurts, and it warms my heart.

I know the five years during which he had dementia were hard. I know that they gave me so much good to remember. From then. From before. From my good fortune in having him in my life.