The tears of a widow are different from the tears of the caregiving spouse. There is more silence in which to grieve when the beloved has died.
The losses are more finite, more final.
The losses while our loved one is still alive but slipping away little by little are just the beginning.
I suppose that is the why of “ambiguous loss” and of “anticipatory grief.” We think we are preparing for the grief we will feel when they pass.
We are, yet we will not be prepared for when the ambiguity and the anticipation resolve into the mourning at their death.
It’s fine. Not being prepared for what comes next is how life should be lived. In the present. As it presents itself.
this is our life 