Should’ve

When you came home from a walk and said you were lost on 5th Avenue, I was worried. When you told me you had experienced double vision, I worried again.

I should have asked you how you felt. Your worry was unspoken but deeply felt.

I should have said I’m worried, but you matter.

If this was the beginning [and I suspect it was], it was the missed moment. This was the time I should have shown you love and compassion.

I did, of course. I did, but it was silently shared. This was the moment to begin verbalizing feelings… expressing my support for you.

This was the moment to ask, “What do you need?” “How do you feel?“

It would have helped. Well, no, it wouldn’t have changed anything. The disease still would have had its way, progressed. I would have lost you. You would have lost you.

I know you know I loved you. I think you knew. I think you know I felt your pain and fear. I think you know I empathised with your concerns.

I’m worried. But you matter.