Feeling Useful

The desire to help out is about being able to still be a part of the life we had. It’s natural to want to contribute as you once did. This has been a thread in one of my support groups.

It has belatedly turned on that old light bulb (duh). “Aha, that explains why Burt wants a job.”

Ok, my aha moment is not so profound, except that it allowed me to humanize Burt. I regret having to put it that way, but it’s clear how much I was treating him as less-than.

He wants a job is not a punchline.

I should not allow myself to treat any of his sincereties or pleas for normalcy as funny. Yes, I need the humor to leaven the sadness and the losses, but he needs to feel helpful.

And he seems ready to return.

It’s very exciting that after he had spent months not wanting to do the laundry, he set a schedule to start again next week. He and his aide have decided Thursday will be the day.

I have agreed to  his request for a two-dollar payment for his services. (You may join me in a little chuckle, but I admire his enterprise.)

If Burt’s quest for useful work continues, I will suggest he use his skills at giving advice and counsel. Talking to people is a job that Burt’s good at, and some of his suggestions can be useful. I ❤️  that he seems re-engaged.