Enjoyments – this is our life

Back to the “from before”

Here’s the story of the picture [L] with the Blues Brothers vibe; I’ve shared this at length with A. who was curious about this photo in my pictorial. It’s a memory from the 2nd year that Burt and I were together. We were invited to party for Judith E’s birthday–who was married to Jim M,Continue reading “Back to the “from before””

Good fortune

What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it? The obvious answer would be the journey I took with Burt once he was diagnosed with Lewy Body. The journey, as it turns out, had so many positives. It brought out a side of me I hadn’tContinue reading “Good fortune”

Madeleines

This was the source of Burt’s favorite treat:

Burt and I always were goers before his dementia stopped us in our tracks. Lately, my lament has been that we should have done more during his decline. Gone to dinner, taken more walks. In part, this is a wish, that if we did more, we could’ve made more memories. I’ve mentioned his expressed desireContinue reading

The practice of care

Best practices include the care of our darlings but as caregivers we need to look out for ourselves. Care for the caregiver includes respite, a topic dear to me and upon which I have expostulated at length. Self-care can and should be done in the company of others. Spend time with friends. I have lunchContinue reading “The practice of care”

A treat?

Standing in an aisle at Duane Reade, I realize that I won’t be bringing Burt a chocolate treat. He can’t eat chocolates the way he once could. I’ve been breaking a little piece into littler pieces for him, but he’s not getting the kick out of it anymore. Now, I add dark chocolate syrup toContinue reading “A treat?”

Down down up

When I speak of Burt’s return or of an upswing, I am grading on a curve. After his recent declines, he has not achieved clarity, coherence, or cognitive functioning. He tells me of imagined trips where he met people with wonderfully unlikely names. He insists I bring Tamara to him when I say, “I’m yourContinue reading “Down down up”

The sign

It’s been at least two years since I first met this sign on a stretch of East End Avenue. I took it both at face value and as an indicator. Life, our life, had definitely hit a patch of the rough. In our case, we had not had or did not heed or were notContinue reading “The sign”

Moment to moment

Burt’s fever broke overnight, almost as suddenly as it started. He was immediately a bit less disoriented. He was able to speak more clearly. We were just chatting, and he mentioned his ex-wife‘s name. I was prepared for this. I was prepared for it to hurt when I asked who she was. He did say,Continue reading “Moment to moment”

Music

It’s medicinal. It can jog memories; it makes you feel good; it works on the mind. You know how music can bring a smile to your face. You know how music can make your love-with-dementia happy. There is scientific evidence for this. Neuro scientific evidence. The podcast here also tells us that there is redundancyContinue reading “Music”