Awareness

In trying to keep a positive attitude over our situation, I also try to find humor when I can.

This doesn’t mean that dementia is not a dreadful disease.

As it is Lewy Body Awareness Month, we need to stay aware of just how devastating LBD is.

All dementias occur as some necessary protein in effect begins to destroy the brain.

In Lewy, it’s the alpha synucleins that fold when they shouldn’t. They damage the neurons (as I understand it) and begin a process in which brain activities stop functioning.

I once read a novel in which the protagonist describes his heart attack as his body turning on him. Dementia is akin to that.

Lewy bodies act unpredictably. Our person with this dementia loses one function or another in no set order.

It is devastating.

While this process of effectively “losing” his/her mind is going on (and it’s ongoing), our loved one has some awareness.

The other night, Burt answered my question of “what’s missing” with a blithe “my brain.”

I had become accustomed to some version of this heart- breaking response when Burt was more aware of his diagnosis.

Then he used to call it “Benny Blue” and would explain, “It’s a brain disease.”

Lately, during his decline, he’s mercifully forgotten about old Benny. His response tore at me.

Burt’s awareness comes and goes, and there are times when he tells me that I must be losing my mind. I guess that projection suggests he is feeling his losses.

I know I am.