Sadder

There will be days like these.. the line is from a rock n roll song. My mama said… it goes on… and it is only a caption, not the whole story.

More to the point, those of us who are mourning know that there will be bad days and better days. Sad days and better days or better days and sadder ones.

This soon after Burt passed, just two months and 2 weeks, I miss him so much and so often, that finding him as I did in the video is both a shock and a joy.

There was the letdown after the festival that was May 3rd. The celebration of life is in part a finality, and that’s sad. There is in fact no finality to celebrating Burt for me. I handed him his lifetime achievement award but I still cherish him for all of my achievements he has supported. I am better for knowing him.

The letdown is that feeling of deflation after you’ve been propped up by all your peeps; after you have been in great company; now, in the aftermath, you are alone to feel that he is gone.

The video is one way in which he is not go. In it, he speaks to all the idiosyncracies I loved in him. It’s a short 6 minutes but it encompasses that much.

I stopped at the site of Burt’s birth place; Manhattan General was a maternity hospital which Beth Israel acquired and converted into living spaces. We had gone by it once, serendipitously, many years ago. I took Burt’s picture with the plaque then. I took a picture of the plaque yesterday.

Ah, memories.