In February, on the 25th- yes, I know it’s still 2 months+ away- it will one year since Burt’s passing.
It feels like it’s been so much longer. Not just because he had been going [or gone] for the better part of five years before that.
The not-quite a year has moved slowly, dragging in and out of deeper grief, tears but not sobs, highs and lows, memories of our-life-before, talking to the photos of him, discovering a video and voice messages that brought a tangible bit of him back. In short, so much going on.
This past May, on what would have been our anniversary- 32nd (marriage) and 35th (of the day we met), our friends gathered to celebrate Burt’s life. It was yet another surprise party I threw him. He did so well at this kind of event in the past. It was a nice send-off, but not a final goodbye.
For me, I am guessing, at this almost eight months point, there is no finality to goodbye.
I am grateful for all our friends. I am glad that I celebrated with so many of the people who buoyed us before and during the dementia journey. I am grateful that, for Burt, that hard, hard journey is finally over.
this is our life 