… comes with a little anxiety and agitation. His little puff of steam uphill comes with a return to other issues. Burt is a bit more anxious in his delusions; his fears are about someone hurting him. He’s more worried, whereas he seemed so contented during the big decline. I think because his world hasContinue reading “The little uptick”
Category Archives: Anxiety
Why I am up at 4
My circadian clock is resetting. I hit the sack at or before 8 or 9pm. It’s a full seven to eight hours by the time the clock ticks to 4am. Why so early to bed? you ask. Exactly. I lie down to help settle Burt, who after a nap from 6pm is suddenly on aContinue reading “Why I am up at 4”
Our outdoor weekend
This morning, Burt asked me what I was doing yesterday. I said I was in the park with you. “I didn’t see you. Why didn’t you come say hello?” It now occurs to me that Burt is antsy in the park when he doesn’t realize I am with him.
Advocacy
A provider is giving me a hard time over my healthcare proxy. They’ve refused to discuss Burt’s plan of care until they vet my proxy. This morning, while mulling my frustration, I thought oh come on. I have the marriage certificate.* That should be proof enough. [*Side note: a beautiful copy of this docunent arrivedContinue reading “Advocacy”
On the side
Things happen as we get engrossed and distracted by caregiving. I managed to misplace (a polite way to say lose) our marriage certificate. I feel a lot better about it since Googling that replacement can be done easily and online. Looking for the missing item also gave me an opportunity to sort through documents. The rearrangementContinue reading “On the side”
Still working it out
The dominant theories right now include
A problem in the making?
It’s very likely that this hat rack arrangement will lose its utility soon. It is a convenience, but for Burt, it has become an issue. I knew it might be. He has begun humanizing animation on the TV and identifying with cars on the traffic cam station (FIOS 28). The other day, he asked whoContinue reading “A problem in the making?”
In free fall
This is a horrid disease. I believe all dementias are damnable and heartbreaking. Lewy, however, seems to offer behavioral twists and emotional wrenches that make it that much more accursed. So, while all dementias are a burden on sufferer and carer, this is the one we’ve got. Burt has quirks that predate his illness. HeContinue reading “In free fall”
Aggression
“So,” she asked, trying to put it tactfully. “Is Burt ever, how do I say it, does he lash out?” Oh, yes, that famous Lewy Body aggressivity. It’s why an agency felt they had to deny services. Burt is, as I like to say, performatively belligerent. Of course, he is, but he does lash out.Continue reading “Aggression”
Perplexing
T-shirts with slogans have sprung up to agitate my Burt. It seems to have originated with a recently acquired resentment of my gym. I love my logoed gear! Burt told me a wild story about a woman (they always look just like me) who was wearing the shirt (he ran his fingers over the writingContinue reading “Perplexing”
this is our life 