Feelings – this is our life

This was our life

I’ve already made my grieving more public than is seemly. I continue to mourn in writing as a heads up for those of you who may experience a similar circumstance. An unnecessary heads up, I admit. We all grieve differently. Also, we each face our grief differently at different times as we mourn. I feelContinue reading “This was our life”

I am so touched

Scrolling through the photos in my phone always brings me to a smile worthy memory. Below, for instance, is one of his Madeleine moments which I may be more tickled by from a prejudiced love of the guy with the cookie. It’s equally nice to remember a Burt from before, and my scroll helps jogContinue reading “I am so touched”

Reminders

When I open the cabinet, there’s the espresso cups we got from drinking, sadly, bad coffee at Matto. Burt pleased me by going with me and suffering through a cup, then escorting me to the subway. I don’t remember where I was heading, but it was a lovely morning. This is pretty much the trainContinue reading “Reminders”

Burt this Wednesday morning

It’s no secret that my walls and screens prominently feature photos of my guy. Seeing him with a this is a good day smile on a screen this morning, I had a pang of miss him. And in that moment, the pleasure of seeing him. More importantly, the pleasure of seeing him happy. This leadContinue reading “Burt this Wednesday morning”

Falling

Some things I remembered this morning When Burt was in the rehab after a fall in which he broke a hip bone during a bout with Covid, he’d call me with an escape plan. He said we could meet by the front door and sneak out to go home. He’d wake his roommates yelling outContinue reading “Falling”

Sadder

There will be days like these.. the line is from a rock n roll song. My mama said… it goes on… and it is only a caption, not the whole story. More to the point, those of us who are mourning know that there will be bad days and better days. Sad days and betterContinue reading “Sadder”

Sixth stage

When you’re caring for a person with dementia, you get to repeat the five stages of grief over and over. While your spouse is playing out his Groundhog Day, repeatedly wondering what time it is, you’re stuck in denial anger bargaining depression acceptance over and over. It’s not just sorrow (and surprise) as a newContinue reading “Sixth stage”