Watching your love wallowing in confusion, delusion, and hallucination is hard. Even heartbreaking. Hearing that somewhere in there, he knows of what he suffers is worse. His understanding may lack exactitude and science, but he is aware. Commiseration is the best and the least I can do. Knowledge of his condition is imperfect in everyContinue reading “Is there anything harder?”
Category Archives: “it’s a brain disease”
Ms. Fix It
I am a fixer. I feel it as a plus and a negative. My husband’s dementia is leaving him more broken each day. I can’t fix that. How can I help? How can I avoid doing harm. I am out of the house, joining an aerobics class or having coffee with a friend. He callsContinue reading “Ms. Fix It”
The gift
His hand is so much bigger than mine. I feel protected holding his hand, and yet I know it’s my job to protect him. When he was first diagnosed he denied the diagnosis. I thought if only he knew it would be so much easier. I could justify the decisions I had to make, explainContinue reading “The gift”
Literary illusions/alusions
In the beginning, just before we got his diagnosis, I would describe our life in view of literature. The comparison to Ionesco fed my worldly aspirations. Rhinoceros also kind of described where Capgras was leading us. Of course, Groundhog Day also fit the bill when repetition was a regimen. An attempt at absurdist wit wasContinue reading “Literary illusions/alusions”
Sharing
Burt just asked one of our neighbors if he knew about his dementia. Of course he did. Burt said, “It’s the worst.” Our kind neighbor said,”Yes.” Recently, I wondered what Burt’s understanding of his disease actually means. I guess I am trying to fathom how deeply he comprehends that he has a brain disease. HisContinue reading “Sharing”
this is our life 