There is still a deep romantic connection between my love and I. This despite the chaste status of our relations these days. I feel the pull at my heart, and I have often heard his version of our story as well. He has wanted to “run away,” he says, but “there’s some chemistry between us.”Continue reading “Romance”
Category Archives: Love
Getting out together
I hate to admit it. When apparently healthy couples of a certain age stroll by hand in hand, I am envious. The recent outings facilitated by our new weekend aide take some of the sting of my jealousy away. I can get out with my guy. That’s a nice feeling. We both enjoy being out,Continue reading “Getting out together”
Old Haunts
Everything nearby can be a trigger for memories and the sadness they evoke. When I passed the cafe at Sotheby’s today, I was mildly cheered that it no longer occupied the top floor. Burt and I had eaten on the rooftop terrace for years. I miss being able to do that with him. Of course,Continue reading “Old Haunts”
When in doubt or crisis
throw some love at it Seriously, and any dementia is a serious illness, there are positives to caregiving. [See also here] In the midst of declines and the unpredictability of what I am experiencing, staying clear of depression is a necessity. Holding onto the one reason I am here is too. So reassuring him andContinue reading “When in doubt or crisis”
Loss
I went into the living room to writea poem of mourning.. about mourning about ambiguous loss and though it presented as my poems usually do with patterns of words I could not or would not write it or allow it to write itself. That sense that we have lost someone who is still alive isContinue reading “Loss”
So many of us
Burt, in one of the many moments of uncertainty about who I am, “met” a woman in our living room. As is his wont on these occasions, he interrogated me thoroughly. There was nothing I could say to convince him he was talking to me, his actual wife. As he does with all the Tamaras,Continue reading “So many of us”
Party? Not right now
I am about to cancel a party I planned for our 32nd anniversary. Parties have been good to (and for) us this past year. Burt loved his 84th surprise birthday gathering. People interested him, and it was a lively event. He insisted I should have one, too, and was able to enjoy the crowd. TheContinue reading “Party? Not right now”
Understanding
It’s nice when Burt gets the gist of my writing about him. When it contains the promise of my love as in the poem I created for him the other night, he’s a happy audience. So much of what I say is distorted on its way to meet him that it can be a frustrationContinue reading “Understanding”
Is it challenging?
What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months? Staying positive and appreciating the opportunities that caregiving offers is the biggest challenge. It’s too easy to find the hards in the journey. Focusing on those makes it just a little harder. Looking at the love that binds us together as weContinue reading “Is it challenging?”
I love you
Reassurance is important for my person with dementia. I slip and forget sometimes. I realized this today when I said, “I love you, sweetheart.” He did not respond with an “I love you too,” but with “you didn’t tell me in a long time.” His remark serves as a reminder to me to say “IContinue reading “I love you”
this is our life 