Bette Midler as my jam today was in contradiction to the pity party I was engaging in. Burt tends to make less sense than ever of late. He still expects me to fill in all the blanks. He’ll cite a destination for an activity of an unspecified type. I am charged with knowing both whereContinue reading “Know what?”
Category Archives: Symptoms & signs
Did I mention?
Anxiety is a huge factor in Lewy Body Dementia. I presume that those who were calm and composed prior to dx experience bouts of this distress once they enter Lewy-land. Burt had more than his share for years before any symptoms. In fact, he was plagued by lifelong panic attacks. His illness has made theContinue reading “Did I mention?”
Showtime
It’s a great phrase and describes pretty well what it’s like when our loved ones rise to an occasion. They will interact with old friends as they might have before their disease came into our lives. I am not sure it’s really play acting as the term implies, however. I think it is a wayContinue reading “Showtime”
It’s more than just the symptoms
In the beginning, I only saw the symptoms. I protected us from the damaging effects of his impulsiveness, poor judgment, and diminished cognition. When he was aggressive, I did what I could so he didn’t hurt himself, me, or others. I met his agitation with the “I’m sorries” I had learned from counselors easing meContinue reading “It’s more than just the symptoms”
What’s changed
Our lives have been turned topsy turvy by Burt’s dementia. Lewy Body has no timeline, but it does twist time. Obviously, Burt has been changed by his illness. Not so obviously, so have I The question: How has my pwd’s dementia changed me? has a long answer. I so want to say I am aContinue reading “What’s changed”
Defiance
Burt is pretty much in his own world. As long as the hallucinations aren’t scary, I am told there’s no need for me to fret. Or medicate. We shall see. The multiple mes disturb and unnerve me. Other aspects are amusing. Burt tried to send me on an errand the other night. When I said,Continue reading “Defiance”
So many of us
Burt, in one of the many moments of uncertainty about who I am, “met” a woman in our living room. As is his wont on these occasions, he interrogated me thoroughly. There was nothing I could say to convince him he was talking to me, his actual wife. As he does with all the Tamaras,Continue reading “So many of us”
Why, indeed
Atilla My Hon after his exertions (aka tantrums and unpleasantness) on an outing this afternoon. My struggles this Friday afternoon, facing a weekend alone with my cranky love, focus on figuring out why going out into a beautiful sunny day causes so much agitation. The agitation makes me fear for his safety and my abilityContinue reading “Why, indeed”
Hallucinations
Well, yes, it is a good thing that they’re not scary. Burt’s hallucinations are mostly benign. A group of pals and co- workers he’s gathered into our home. They make him feel connected, I think, and less alone. His dreams and delusions seem, on the other hand, to be frightening. He is always lost withoutContinue reading “Hallucinations”
Party? Not right now
I am about to cancel a party I planned for our 32nd anniversary. Parties have been good to (and for) us this past year. Burt loved his 84th surprise birthday gathering. People interested him, and it was a lively event. He insisted I should have one, too, and was able to enjoy the crowd. TheContinue reading “Party? Not right now”
this is our life 