Thank you, Burton Missing Burt has been a natural if sad pastime; these last couple of months, the memory of him has accompanied me as I once again roam our town. I tread the paths we walked over the years. Yesterday, I felt like he was definitely with me in familiar and some new places.Continue reading “So many reminders”
Tag Archives: #emotional
Sadder
There will be days like these.. the line is from a rock n roll song. My mama said… it goes on… and it is only a caption, not the whole story. More to the point, those of us who are mourning know that there will be bad days and better days. Sad days and betterContinue reading “Sadder”
Sweet
In some ways, he’s more my child than my husband. He seems to acknowledge this on some level when he refers to me as his mother; of course, when he does, it’s part of his confusions, delusions, and hallucinations. When I came back from an unusually late outing in which I enjoyed the hospitality ofContinue reading “Sweet”
A deep dive
In the abstract, I am fascinated by the mechanisms of Burt’s disease. In reality, the manifestations of Lewy Body are overwhelmingly sad. Trying to deduce patterns is part of my close study into all things Burt. I want to see what prompts his irrational conclusions and how his fantasies develop. There probably is no pattern,Continue reading “A deep dive”
Who?
I was going to stop posting or post more discriminately. Then… This morning, Burt was doing his who are you little darling routine. It’s his memory game in which I hear about the other wives and often how badly I treat him. Today, we reconciled. I recounted our many years together. So far, all quiteContinue reading “Who?”
My poet
This is what I needed to move from the darkness I have been feeling. [To wit, a poem called Seeking Joy, which hardly hit its mark.] It was a contribution by my love, my p.w.d. Burt said something that was very uncharacteristic. He told me, “You’re talking to a poet.” I said, “You are theContinue reading “My poet”
Chug chug
The Lewy roller-coaster has taken a small uphill turn. Burt’s no more cogent than he was at the slip down the slope. The change is more to do with his engagement with others. He’s happy to greet those he passes and more interested in being around others. We’re still surrounded by extra wives (now again,Continue reading “Chug chug”
Emotions
I have talked about how emotional Burt has been. Lewy Body Dementia is often described as a roller coaster (hate ’em) because of fluctuating symptoms and variable every thing. It’s also a roller coaster of moods that can shift in a minute or a heartbeat or an hour. For him, I would think those changesContinue reading “Emotions”
Mid night thoughts May 7th
It’s a pernicious disease that has outsmarted us both, and Burt and I are pretty smart. Lewy Body Dementia has made its wily way into our lives. I have been split into fragmented personalities some of them adored some abhorred others tolerated. Burt is never fully alone except when he dreams I have abandoned him.Continue reading “Mid night thoughts May 7th”
Why, indeed
Atilla My Hon after his exertions (aka tantrums and unpleasantness) on an outing this afternoon. My struggles this Friday afternoon, facing a weekend alone with my cranky love, focus on figuring out why going out into a beautiful sunny day causes so much agitation. The agitation makes me fear for his safety and my abilityContinue reading “Why, indeed”
this is our life 