Finnegan’s Wake is on my path to the senior center. I must have walked by dozens of times, but it’s only today that I ran into the woman who owns the place. We exchanged hellos and haven’t seen you in a long time. I explained about Burt’s dementia and told her he’d died. It’s recent,Continue reading “The past”
Tag Archives: #from-before
Burt and I always were goers before his dementia stopped us in our tracks. Lately, my lament has been that we should have done more during his decline. Gone to dinner, taken more walks. In part, this is a wish, that if we did more, we could’ve made more memories. I’ve mentioned his expressed desireContinue reading
Rules are rules
There was a fierce snow storm many winters past, and Burt and I, restless with cabin fever, went to 65th Street for dinner. Mind you, Burt had a no-go-snow policy but I guess the exception proves the rule. This outing was memorable for the high greying icy mounds at each corner. On this corner, weContinue reading “Rules are rules”
Things change
New York is a dynamic town. I discovered today that it’s Deutsche Bank [not Constantinople, er not Time Warner] Center. Shocking, these changes. Burt and I spent a lot of time at the Time Warner Center enjoying dinner or a jazz performance or both. For our anniversary or Valentine’s or a birthday one year weContinue reading “Things change”
We met
Just a month into our first year together, Burt made it his mission to give my apartment a makeover. Once refurbished, it would be our apartment. I found a contractor whose credentials included solid quirkiness. Every few days, we were asked for more money to keep the project going. Burt was paying for the workContinue reading “We met”
Got you covered
On Sunday, I wore the hat Burt bought me on the UWS when we were walking on Broadway; it had started to drizzle, no rain just a dampness. He got me a cap at one of those emporia near 72nd Street. It was expensive by my standards of headgear. It was not a street vendor’sContinue reading “Got you covered”
Busy
Keeping busy helps me work through my grief. It also takes me away from the business of my grieving. Grief need not be avoided and often the busy-ness of my days skirts the pain of my grieving. While Burt was ailing busy was intricate to mourning. There was a relentless gradual loss. Now, busy isContinue reading “Busy”
Bubbling up
Two weeks before my planned celebration to honor Burt, I find little reminders in his honor. I am organizing my living space, with no wish to eliminate any of the reminders. You might argue that disposing of Burt’s jackets and sneakers can be seen as a way of eliminating reminders. Throwing out his things isContinue reading “Bubbling up”
Tickaboom
Burt loved tickets. I think I have shared the joke before: he said he liked getting tickets better than going to the show. Be that as it may, we went to most of the shows for which we had tickets. Tickets were a big deal and I think it had to do with his childhood.Continue reading “Tickaboom”
My memories
There were many things Burt could still remember as Lewy progressed. Some were mangled memories. Until the last month or two, he still knew that I loved him. Sometimes that awareness came as a reminder from me. I love you very very much. His eyes widened and he’d say “Really?” and smile in recognition. AsContinue reading “My memories”
this is our life 