There is a phenomenon of memory that I am just now observing. It feels like it happens backwards. Let me clarify if I can: I am not drawn to act on the memory, rather it coincidentally comes to me as I go about doing what I would do. But, what I do is not coincidental.Continue reading “I remember”
Tag Archives: #from-before-to-always
Thinking of…
I am in a bereavement group at the moment. This is my second go at tackling, no taking in this kind of support. Why not? It’s very helpful talking to others recently bereft. We see the stages so much more clearly when they filter in other’s eyes. I try to be honest with my group,Continue reading “Thinking of…”
Our story
We met at a bar called Tramps on Friday, May 3rd in 1990. There had been a phone call on Wednesday during which we had made that date. Technically, we met on May 1, 1990, I guess, but according to our Beck love lore, it’s always been May 3rd, now 35 years ago. On Friday,Continue reading “Our story”
I found it!
My tendency to clear away clutter is anti-sentimental. I tend to remove the unworn from my closets. It’s a slightly brutal approach. I am delighted that I didn’t dispose of all my unused keepsakes so cavaliarly. We were- I can’t remember why- at the Met store in Rockefeller Center. Browsing. Somehow, Burt managed to sneakContinue reading “I found it!”
Perfect
The thing about perfection is that it does not stand alone. That is to say, it is relative, as in what is perfect to you or for you is not objectively perfect. In the eye of the beholder. We are all flawed. We are all perfect. So, Burt was perfect. I remember some rough spots,Continue reading “Perfect”
Don’t give up
As I was looking for a reference in some posts past, I found this amazing quote from Burt: “Don’t give up on loving me,” my very sleepy sweetheart said, holding my hand. As he drifted off to sleep, Burt called me over [why does everything have to be shared as a secret (sigh)?]. Despite myContinue reading “Don’t give up”
Advice
From the perspective of after My message for you, preparing for life with and then after, is that you find the joy. There was plenty of joy in caring for Burt. It was sometimes a discovery of who he was under the patina of our marriage; sometimes it was enjoying his jokes, and more importantlyContinue reading “Advice”
So many reminders
Thank you, Burton Missing Burt has been a natural if sad pastime; these last couple of months, the memory of him has accompanied me as I once again roam our town. I tread the paths we walked over the years. Yesterday, I felt like he was definitely with me in familiar and some new places.Continue reading “So many reminders”
Married Lady
My views on marriage were a bit more open than not. I was a 60s hippie-adjacent sort, after all. Burt felt that the commitment was an important turning point. He proposed on the morning of his 51st birthday in 1990. In retrospect, from where I stand today, being married to Burt was the best thingContinue reading “Married Lady”
this is our life 