#grief – this is our life

Thankful

With Thanksgiving just a few days past, I realize that I had not completed my list of gratitude. It was such an obvious thing that I hadn’t voiced it: I am grateful for Burt. I am grateful that I met him, grateful that I knew him. I am grateful for every moment I had withContinue reading “Thankful”

Mourning

I will mourn you when You’re gone, and those Rites of your passing Allow my grief out from The volcano the furnace The seismic pressure I am holding together While you live each day As less of who you are Diminished, diminishing Lost but still here, still Mine, not fully mine, and Not always lost.Continue reading “Mourning”

Theater, or

Whatever favored activity I will make the case for theater as a healing art for those of us grieving a loss as well as it may be for a nation in crisis. Theater does not stand alone in its healing powers. Dance, you bopping to a tune while mopping the floors, or the variety youContinue reading “Theater, or”

To mourn

I browsed or breezed or picked my way through Lisa Keefauver’s breezy and very useful book on the art and science of mourning. Grief is a Sneaky Bitch is a title with an element of shock even for those like me who never hesitate to curse. Incidentally, if I weren’t inclined to language most foul,Continue reading “To mourn”

Bedbound

Burt’s choice to stay in his bed wasn’t really a choice. I had noticed a decline in the two months leading up to those last two months. Friends who came to celebrate his 85th birthday said he seemed less engaged. After that birthday party, he went out for ice cream in his wheelchair for theContinue reading “Bedbound”

Sorrow

Grief is not something you want to fix. I mean, I feel as if I am frequently trying to fix my saddness. It’s illogical. And not something I really want. Sorrow is an irrational passage. Grief is a process that like other life experiences yanks us in all directions and often doesn’t make sense. MourningContinue reading “Sorrow”

Sadder

There will be days like these.. the line is from a rock n roll song. My mama said… it goes on… and it is only a caption, not the whole story. More to the point, those of us who are mourning know that there will be bad days and better days. Sad days and betterContinue reading “Sadder”

Bubbling up

Two weeks before my planned celebration to honor Burt, I find little reminders in his honor. I am organizing my living space, with no wish to eliminate any of the reminders. You might argue that disposing of Burt’s jackets and sneakers can be seen as a way of eliminating reminders. Throwing out his things isContinue reading “Bubbling up”

Prompted at a writing workshop

Burden / Blessing My burden, as it were, is lifted. Burt has passed and I am relieved of caregiving. I have the blessings of memory. Good memories, mostly, from a good long-short marriage, from a friendship that enriched my life; good memories from years of doing-together; and, yes, good memories from nearly five years ofContinue reading “Prompted at a writing workshop”

Stages

The dawn is still beautiful. Is it allowed to be beautiful? Are there really stages of grief? I know there are because I have lived them once already. I am grieving all over for the same man I mourned before. My sorrow is not less now even though it is tinged with relief. I haveContinue reading “Stages”