I promise that I will continue to write about Burt’s struggles as I heal from the reeling loss of him. Heal is the wrong word, so is reel to be honest. It hurts but it’s not a pain you want to cure. It will dull on its own and I will feel that relief. InContinue reading “All those good years”
Tag Archives: memories
Revisiting
On my respites during Burt’s journey, I had avoided going where we had been together. Now, in his absence, these are the most welcome destinations. I am soothed by going where we had gone together.
So many reminders
Thank you, Burton Missing Burt has been a natural if sad pastime; these last couple of months, the memory of him has accompanied me as I once again roam our town. I tread the paths we walked over the years. Yesterday, I felt like he was definitely with me in familiar and some new places.Continue reading “So many reminders”
Got you covered
On Sunday, I wore the hat Burt bought me on the UWS when we were walking on Broadway; it had started to drizzle, no rain just a dampness. He got me a cap at one of those emporia near 72nd Street. It was expensive by my standards of headgear. It was not a street vendor’sContinue reading “Got you covered”
More on that video
The combination of events, my uncovery of the video of Burt a day after our party for him, still tickles me. I am revisiting the occasion of our conversation, listening to it many times over. I also enjoy imagining it and retelling its script. It is rife with the essence of Burt. Chatty, relishing hisContinue reading “More on that video”
Loving Burt. Losing Burt.
Crossing 67th. Etc
As the day passes Some pictures I took of him when we were watching the river:
My memories
There were many things Burt could still remember as Lewy progressed. Some were mangled memories. Until the last month or two, he still knew that I loved him. Sometimes that awareness came as a reminder from me. I love you very very much. His eyes widened and he’d say “Really?” and smile in recognition. AsContinue reading “My memories”
It went so fast
In a rambling dinner conversation, Burt’s favorite aide [and mine] and I inevitably spoke of him. His idiosyncracies over the rules of laundry and eager attendance to the mailbox were still part of daily living when she began. Only toward the end, in the last few months, did Burt think I was just never here. MyContinue reading “It went so fast”
Life, as it goes on
My life without Burt feels like it’s been severed in half. So I am living a half-life like a mineral. At least some of the time. His picture is all over the walls of our living room. I can admire his impish smile or his eager interest. I can remember when we went to thisContinue reading “Life, as it goes on”
this is our life 