Dx

What’s the most profound piece of advice you’ve been given? Did you take it?

When Burt was first diagnosed, I was sure that his symptoms were acts of willfulness.

It should not have taken a social worker to tell me that he wasn’t being difficult.

Dementia isn’t performative. It’s profoundly distressing, and not just for the healthy partner.

When he’d ask a question for the umpteenth time, he wasn’t ignoring the answer. He wasn’t playing games or giving me a hard time.

The advice I got from the SW who was counseling me was to recognize that Burt was seriously ill.

It took me a while, but I accepted the reality of his condition.

Caregiving for him was so much simpler with these facts in my corner. He simply needed my care. He wasn’t being contrary- although that trait was one of his charms- he was doing his best, and I had to do mine.