On my respites during Burt’s journey, I had avoided going where we had been together. Now, in his absence, these are the most welcome destinations. I am soothed by going where we had gone together.
Category Archives: #from-before
Meant to be
Burt did a favor for Angelo one day in 1990. He went to drop off something at the Puck Building. He noticed a freebie newspaper on the premises. The NY Press had an, also free, personal ad section. Intrigued, Burt worked on his pitch. I was in the market. Burt’s ad was tailor-made to myContinue reading “Meant to be”
Theater, or
Whatever favored activity I will make the case for theater as a healing art for those of us grieving a loss as well as it may be for a nation in crisis. Theater does not stand alone in its healing powers. Dance, you bopping to a tune while mopping the floors, or the variety youContinue reading “Theater, or”
Like we used to do
It’s not a flippant thought, really; I do find Burt coming with me, tagging along as I wander the city. Some places bring me memories of us. Some are new to me and I feel like we are exploring. Like we used to do. It’s pleasing to imagine, for instance, that I am introducing BurtContinue reading “Like we used to do”
Flirty
Burt was not an extravagantly flamboyant flirt. He did it on the qt so he could keep plausible deniability. He wasn’t ashamed of his actions but he liked his flirtations under the radar. He always flirted, in a quiet what do you think way. Years ago, in what I’ve been calling the before, Burt toldContinue reading “Flirty”
Burt’s life
I did not prepare an obituary for Burt. Not even for the May 3rd memorial celebration of life. Who he was is laid out in the pages of this blog, even though you’re meeting him during his journey in illness. I have sprinkled memories from the before among my posts. Some of you knew himContinue reading “Burt’s life”
The Park
My friend greeted me by the lobby door and said go to the park, everything’s in bloom. Good plan for this aimless Easter Sunday. My route was to come in at 67th. And there were the memories. Burt and I frequented The Park. My path today was full of old stories. My Sunday in theContinue reading “The Park”
I was prompted
It’s hard to feel like you’re thriving in the midst of the downward cycle of dementia. My policy, as I have often called it, was to get help in early so I could get “me time.” It was to save myself, to keep from drowning, to stay positive. In retrospect with Burt-dear Burt- gone, IContinue reading “I was prompted”
Braving his fears
Burt had always seemed to be a “scaredy cat.” As his dementia progressed, he was fearful of the many dogs in our building. He would shoo them and then regret his rudeness and make his peace with their owners. He worried loudly when he participated in his PT or when we moved him in hisContinue reading “Braving his fears”
Glad you asked
Sorry to have this answer Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to. Marriage isn’t rightly described as a phase. Some are soon ended. Others last from highschool sweetheart on, til. Ours started in midlife and ended with Burt’s death. Nearly 33 years married and almost 35 together. Maybe, like hisContinue reading “Glad you asked”
this is our life 