Category Archives: Grateful
Burt and I always were goers before his dementia stopped us in our tracks. Lately, my lament has been that we should have done more during his decline. Gone to dinner, taken more walks. In part, this is a wish, that if we did more, we could’ve made more memories. I’ve mentioned his expressed desireContinue reading
Accountable
It feels like I should have control over my feelings, my memories, my past and my future. The jumble sale that is a life can be so much messier than any accounting of it suggests. Well, in 1990, I did this; actually, I met Burt, so it was a big year. In 1992, we gotContinue reading “Accountable”
Big screen
I bought the 45″ TV for Burt. He had gotten us the smaller one a long while back. I am happy with it. The bigger screen seemed to be suited to his watching from his recliner. I don’t watch from his recliner. In fact, I had gotten both the TV and the big brown chair forContinue reading “Big screen”
Burt’s watch
Burt bought himself a moderately expensive watch some twelve, 13 years ago. He was proud of how well he negotiated for his Hamilton; he loved and wore it even when it no longer kept time. [Let’s face it, by then Burt wasn’t much on keeping time. In fact, he’d lost most sense of time inContinue reading “Burt’s watch”
I found it!
My tendency to clear away clutter is anti-sentimental. I tend to remove the unworn from my closets. It’s a slightly brutal approach. I am delighted that I didn’t dispose of all my unused keepsakes so cavaliarly. We were- I can’t remember why- at the Met store in Rockefeller Center. Browsing. Somehow, Burt managed to sneakContinue reading “I found it!”
Love you. Love you more.
Love does not have a finite value. My love for Burt, unconditional, and I am sure he loved me more, as he often responded to my declaration of love. I always told him I loved him. When he became ill, this affirmation was not just more imperative in the moment, it was also clearer. IContinue reading “Love you. Love you more.”
Burt this Wednesday morning
It’s no secret that my walls and screens prominently feature photos of my guy. Seeing him with a this is a good day smile on a screen this morning, I had a pang of miss him. And in that moment, the pleasure of seeing him. More importantly, the pleasure of seeing him happy. This leadContinue reading “Burt this Wednesday morning”
Isn’t It Romantic
I am a romantic. It was not always thus. I had once been a self-prescribed pragmatist. I wouldn’t be surprised if life with Burt is what turned me into a sentimental sort. I’m sure it has. When we met, I was determined to find a life partner. I was lonely living alone and it was time. IContinue reading “Isn’t It Romantic”
this is our life 