There are so many pictures of Burt, mostly during the journey, but a lot of us at ballgames, on walks having fun. The photos perch on every free surface in both rooms or sit tacked to the wall. Our wedding photos, and an album, are also part of the decor. The photographic reminders take meContinue reading “The last 5 years”
Tag Archives: #about-our-journey
Burt deserved the extraordinary [redux]
Burt was extraordinary. He and I had lived a happy, carefree, and modest life. We had no ambition to stir us towards greatness. He had daydreams of coaching a hapless team with me in the dug- out by his side. Sometimes. Not an ambition. We were impressed by talent and in Burt’s case that meantContinue reading “Burt deserved the extraordinary [redux]”
Video memory
Waiting for my old cellphone to migrate to the new one gave me an opportunity to catch up with the video of Burt in the rehab. He came home from the facility on February 25th, 2 years to the day before he died at home. The video is just under 7 minutes and in itContinue reading “Video memory”
Taxi, taxi
Burt’s dad drove a taxi. I found this cab keychain at an outing at the Museum of the City of New York. I made it a habit of bringing some item home to Burt from my time out of the house. Food was always a hit, tchotchkes (even when they linked to his history) lessContinue reading “Taxi, taxi”
I ran into…
Last week I ran into a friend who now owns a bar-restaurant that Burt and I frequented; we hug, she offering me condolences and saying now you’ll live your bestlife. Then she’s telling me that Burt was a character. Hearing her assessment is a blessing. That day, I also ran into a Social Worker IContinue reading “I ran into…”
Forgive me
Burt died at home. I’m glad I was able to take care of him at home for most of his struggle with LBD. Burt died at home, but I was not there at his moment of passing. Burt passed sometime between the moment I left home to walk to the gym and the ten minutesContinue reading “Forgive me”
Emotional logic
We like to think that we’re logical creatures but our minds belie this hope. Logic is buried in a web of emotions. Burt, it seemed, wasn’t aware that I went with him to the park on our weekend outings. I noticed this when I recapped the Sunday. We went to the pickleball court, I said.Continue reading “Emotional logic”
The journey
As Burt’s dementia proceeded, I noticed aspects of his character I had not noticed or paid attention to while he was well. These were not new; it was what he’d always had to offer. I just hadn’t noticed or paid attention to them before. His illness put me more in tune with him. Honestly, IContinue reading “The journey”
Accountable
It feels like I should have control over my feelings, my memories, my past and my future. The jumble sale that is a life can be so much messier than any accounting of it suggests. Well, in 1990, I did this; actually, I met Burt, so it was a big year. In 1992, we gotContinue reading “Accountable”
Thinking about
Blogging about Burt feels self- aggrandizing. Sometimes, at any rate. Not writing about him feels negligent. Like only the blog will document who he was to me. In the context of our life together, it doesn’t matter how others will remember him. As his wife, I temper all of the difficult, easy, caring devotion withContinue reading “Thinking about”
this is our life 