Category Archives: Grateful
Yes, dear, I do
Do I miss you, darling?You, of all people, know.You know I miss you, And, even, I’ll bet, howDeeply I miss you. It isIntense, this absence ofYours. Yes, I miss you,Dear. Yet, also, I live myLife, a life different fromThe one we shared, theOne I miss when I say I miss you, darling, so Much. IContinue reading “Yes, dear, I do”
Dreaming
My friend wondered where our dreamscapes come from when I shared my dream with her. My dream of Burt, probably lastTh or Fr was meant to be noted on the following morning. I forgot to write it down then. When I did recall it, it struck me as odd, funny and pleasant. We wanted toContinue reading “Dreaming”
Another picture book
Burt and I always were goers before his dementia stopped us in our tracks. Lately, my lament has been that we should have done more during his decline. Gone to dinner, taken more walks. In part, this is a wish, that if we did more, we could’ve made more memories. I’ve mentioned his expressed desireContinue reading
Accountable
It feels like I should have control over my feelings, my memories, my past and my future. The jumble sale that is a life can be so much messier than any accounting of it suggests. Well, in 1990, I did this; actually, I met Burt, so it was a big year. In 1992, we gotContinue reading “Accountable”
Big screen
I bought the 45″ TV for Burt. He had gotten us the smaller one a long while back. I am happy with it. The bigger screen seemed to be suited to his watching from his recliner. I don’t watch from his recliner. In fact, I had gotten both the TV and the big brown chair forContinue reading “Big screen”
Burt’s watch
Burt bought himself a moderately expensive watch some twelve, 13 years ago. He was proud of how well he negotiated for his Hamilton; he loved and wore it even when it no longer kept time. [Let’s face it, by then Burt wasn’t much on keeping time. In fact, he’d lost most sense of time inContinue reading “Burt’s watch”
I found it!
My tendency to clear away clutter is anti-sentimental. I tend to remove the unworn from my closets. It’s a slightly brutal approach. I am delighted that I didn’t dispose of all my unused keepsakes so cavaliarly. We were- I can’t remember why- at the Met store in Rockefeller Center. Browsing. Somehow, Burt managed to sneakContinue reading “I found it!”
Love you. Love you more.
Love does not have a finite value. My love for Burt, unconditional, and I am sure he loved me more, as he often responded to my declaration of love. I always told him I loved him. When he became ill, this affirmation was not just more imperative in the moment, it was also clearer. IContinue reading “Love you. Love you more.”
this is our life 