Burt expects me to deliver my best self. He knows it doesn’t always happen. “I’m doing the best I can” is often dismissed as not good enough. Sometimes, it’s met without challenge and accepted. Forgiven or forgotten. The other day, when we established that no aide would be with us, Burt asked me if IContinue reading “Giving my best. Doing my best”
Category Archives: Grateful
The confusion
It’s hard to resist the urge to say “really? Really, you don’t know that your first wife was named Susan?” Just one of a series of “really’s” that his infliction brings to the fore. As we’re on a high of successes, his confusion is more unwelcome. I feel it like the contradiction pulling me downContinue reading “The confusion”
Good news
You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do? You share it with the one you love. Right? After that “point of pain,” I also need to share something wonderful. Shortly after we got Burt’s diagnosis, I was rummaging through a closet and found some of the extravagantly sentimental cards BurtContinue reading “Good news”
Gratitude
What do you complain about the most? The caregiver’s journey is often lonely, depressing, and difficult. A recent support group seminar served as a reminder that there is a lot for which to be grateful while caregiving. The Caregiver Teleconnection program from WellMed Charitable Foundation focused on the Positive aspects of the journey. For instance,Continue reading “Gratitude”
Pre-existing condition
It’s interesting how many spouses of folks with LBD have noted that their pwd was extremely smart. The other often reported fact is a tendency towards anxiety (before it’s a symptom of the disease) or obsessive behaviors. From the oral histories, we can see or suspect a pattern. Some of these psychological ticks and quirksContinue reading “Pre-existing condition”
Rehab
Burt landed in a nursing center/rehab after a hospitalization for hip repair. I was there when he fell and like on other occasions when I was there but couldn’t say exactly what happened…. I had contracted covid and was on paxlovid and trying to stay away from him. I slept in the living room, butContinue reading “Rehab”
Mellower
Me. Not he. I have become a less bristly me since Burt was diagnosed. Oh, yes, I panicked at first. He was so listless. Now his moods (for examples etc. see I’m so emotional…) give him plenty of volatility to play with. There are lulls, and he can be calm and kind. I was alwaysContinue reading “Mellower”
Up up down up
Burt had two days of the grumps following our outing to the Thanksgiving Dinner and Dance. I realized this was a smaller version of the reaction I had read about, the slide that follows a big event. It was mild if unpleasant. On Wednesday, he told me what he liked about his aide was thatContinue reading “Up up down up”
Why didn’t I think of that
I had a “duh” moment tonight when I took Burt to a Thanksgiving party at our nearby neighborhood center. I hesitated. I had trepidations. He was nervous. His anxiety over where, when, why were extreme. I was pretty sure I could safely ignore his exhortation to “get another boyfriend” if I wanted to go toContinue reading “Why didn’t I think of that”
Gratitude
It’s Thanksgiving, that Thursday in November we’ve designated as a day on which to be grateful. I am. I still have my Burt. His challenges come with heaps of love and appreciation. That’s to say he is grateful. He frequently thanks me for everything I do for him. He doesn’t forget to be appreciative ofContinue reading “Gratitude”
this is our life 