#grief – this is our life

Coming to terms

Every day is different after the loss of Burt; it’s not just in the sense of the cliché. As a widow, the differences in the days are linked to memory and mood. It is a matter of the ebbs and floods of sorrow and acceptance. The holidays are notorious for being harder when a lovedContinue reading “Coming to terms”

I write a poem

This is a poem becauseBecause I miss you andToday I miss you more, Seeing your picture, oneTaken years before yourIllness changed you, whenA walk on the ramp to orFrom our river path wasYour favorite way to spendSome hours, when you Were strong, and active,I miss you in that beforeTime, but you know I alsoMiss theContinue reading “I write a poem”

Grief, grieving

Is it possible to turn grief into grievance? I accept that grieving has no timeline; I don’t want to shoo my grief away. In a way, it’s my grief that honors Burt. So what am I talking about? Is it the sense that long term grief is a kind of wallowing? Yes, that is partContinue reading “Grief, grieving”

I was safe. I thought I was safe.

The above is a prompt from Wild Heart’s Miribai Starr- well the second half is. She is guiding the grief workshop to which I am listening. It debunks some myths about grieving. [Wild Heart and Holy Lament, a grief community, is led by Miribai and Willow Brook.] I thought I was safe; it’s not theContinue reading “I was safe. I thought I was safe.”

Laugh, love, remember

Honoring those we love who have died is not a matter of constant sorrow. I was in a speakeasy Friday night, having fun watching the young, and, yes, being honored by them. [See “You are icons.” Prohibitions is back, baby.] Intentionality, my awkward word for mindfulness, makes it essential to laugh while grieving. This isContinue reading “Laugh, love, remember”

Why am I?

Why are we so obsessed with the end, with being there when our loved one passes? I say “we,” but I am asking “Why am I reliving the end?” Why am I upset that I was not on the scene when Burt died? I say “we” because I think it’s a universal distress. I wasn’tContinue reading “Why am I?”

Thinking of…

I am in a bereavement group at the moment. This is my second go at tackling, no taking in this kind of support. Why not? It’s very helpful talking to others recently bereft. We see the stages so much more clearly when they filter in other’s eyes. I try to be honest with my group,Continue reading “Thinking of…”

Grieving

There are so many words but I have only used loss; I’ve only Said “I’m mourning” or “I mourn” I have said “I miss you” and I’ve Mentioned that as I missed you, You were also missing. I knew You were lost and losing little Bits of yourself over time which I noticed you hadContinue reading “Grieving”