Love – Page 5 – this is our life

Ides

Beware the Ides of March? Is that the 13th, no 15th, and it’s past. You have passed. I have been beware and aware since you first presented with odd differences. The days we went all over town visiting doctors with an answer to why you were seeing double. We shrugged when you returned home sayingContinue reading “Ides”

Love, always

I said I love you but wonderedIf you heard me. I didn’t knowIf you heard me when I said itBefore, in those last few days,But I do know you heard me. You will always know that I Love you. Always. I said it toRemind us both, then. I loved You, then as I love you, now.Continue reading “Love, always”

Footwear

My photo albums show me my Burt fully animated, even mischievous. He was a contrarian and often impish. I loved his capricious humor. I loved him.

Now that you’re gone

This haunts me. Our first encounter with Capgras was both strange and amusing. Burt welcomed the imposter, an atypical response I suppose. In that early iteration, he wound up meeting 13 Tamaras. I remember one of our conversations during which I interjected our shared past at which Burt said “You’re a very nice person. IContinue reading “Now that you’re gone”

Missing

From beginning to end, it was not a sudden event. It felt like a long journey and also as if it all transpired in a flash. Dementia slowly steals faculties, alters personality, changes the conversation. Once upon years before, we shared ideas and interests, exchanged thoughts and had meaningful communication. Once upon… I thrilled atContinue reading “Missing”

Dear Burt,

You gave me a full happy life. We were lucky to find each other. Lucky, or destined? I’m not sure if either luck or fate belong in modern life. Or love. It was my joy and an honor to be with you each and every one of those nearly 35 years. Did we have disagreements?Continue reading “Dear Burt,”

The theater

We were regulars on Broadway, off, off-off. We attended dance and jazz performances. We went to pop concerts and some opera. When I string that out like that, I wonder how we found the time. As he approached the beginnings of his dementia, sitting through a ballet or staying for a show became a challenge.Continue reading “The theater”

Endings

What experiences in life helped you grow the most? It felt odd sharing news of Burt’s death in an email or text. It was odd having that news to share. He lived large and well right up to his last few days. Even during 4, nearly 5 years with dementia he found pleasure in connectingContinue reading “Endings”

His story

There’s a lot of serendipity afloat at this end of our journey. I get glints from the universe that all provide points of light from Burt’s life. Or maybe, my experiences spur my memories. Memories are giving me context to our history, mine and Burt’s. I knew his background, I think, because Burt was alwaysContinue reading “His story”

Glad you asked

Sorry to have this answer Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to. Marriage isn’t rightly described as a phase. Some are soon ended. Others last from highschool sweetheart on, til. Ours started in midlife and ended with Burt’s death. Nearly 33 years married and almost 35 together. Maybe, like hisContinue reading “Glad you asked”