When I brought him home from rehab, I wasn’t sure if I had made the right decision for us. I was extremely concerned that I wouldn’t manage. Burt was still dependent on a wheelchair much of the time. I had limited help (it’s expensive, you know!) to weekdays for 5 hours. Except that first weekendContinue reading “While I’m on the subject”
Category Archives: Love
Dementia in the news
Sandra Day O’Connor died several weeks ago of complications from dementia. Rosalynn Carter was 96 when she passed and had suffered from dementia as well. These days dementia is often the diagnosis. Sandra Day O’Connor had made “dementia” news before. When her husband was in memory care, he began an affair with a woman atContinue reading “Dementia in the news”
Per usual
It’s a premise I have advanced here before. Burt is a flurry of emotions; it’s a symptom of his disease. To say his moods are changeable is putting it mildly. When I came home from my outings today, for instance, he told me how rotten I had been this morning. After a PT session, heContinue reading “Per usual”
Getting to know you
I have focused on finding the Burt I know within the damaged man he’s become. Today, I realized that I needed to also look at who he is. It’s time to get to know my Burt as he is now. Getting to know him entails accepting the change. I know, I know he has dementiaContinue reading “Getting to know you”
More of Less
There is something both cute and heartbreaking when he says “my big chair” with the possessive enthusiasm of a child. This disease hurts every day in every way. It’s full of cuts to the heart, like when you find yourself taking pride in his remembering what day it is. Where is the smart, savvy, resourcefulContinue reading “More of Less”
Ego
I use this bit of insider knowledge as a tagline in my online communications with other caregivers. Caregiving turns out to be a Zen experience; little by little, we give over our ego to the care. We have to forgo that inevitable clash of egos in which we as couples engage. This is a positiveContinue reading “Ego”
Up up down up
Burt had two days of the grumps following our outing to the Thanksgiving Dinner and Dance. I realized this was a smaller version of the reaction I had read about, the slide that follows a big event. It was mild if unpleasant. On Wednesday, he told me what he liked about his aide was thatContinue reading “Up up down up”
Gratitude
It’s Thanksgiving, that Thursday in November we’ve designated as a day on which to be grateful. I am. I still have my Burt. His challenges come with heaps of love and appreciation. That’s to say he is grateful. He frequently thanks me for everything I do for him. He doesn’t forget to be appreciative ofContinue reading “Gratitude”
“I’m so emotional, baby”
We all tend to be so overwhelmed by our own emotions. I should have realized this sooner, but it hit me just now. A young woman was on her phone and she started tearing up when she said, “I feel like….” That conclusion brings me to our LBD partners. They are in a constant rawContinue reading ““I’m so emotional, baby””
this is our life 