What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months? Staying positive and appreciating the opportunities that caregiving offers is the biggest challenge. It’s too easy to find the hards in the journey. Focusing on those makes it just a little harder. Looking at the love that binds us together as weContinue reading “Is it challenging?”
Category Archives: Love
I love you
Reassurance is important for my person with dementia. I slip and forget sometimes. I realized this today when I said, “I love you, sweetheart.” He did not respond with an “I love you too,” but with “you didn’t tell me in a long time.” His remark serves as a reminder to me to say “IContinue reading “I love you”
While I’m on the subject
When I brought him home from rehab, I wasn’t sure if I had made the right decision for us. I was extremely concerned that I wouldn’t manage. Burt was still dependent on a wheelchair much of the time. I had limited help (it’s expensive, you know!) to weekdays for 5 hours. Except that first weekendContinue reading “While I’m on the subject”
Dementia in the news
Sandra Day O’Connor died several weeks ago of complications from dementia. Rosalynn Carter was 96 when she passed and had suffered from dementia as well. These days dementia is often the diagnosis. Sandra Day O’Connor had made “dementia” news before. When her husband was in memory care, he began an affair with a woman atContinue reading “Dementia in the news”
Per usual
It’s a premise I have advanced here before. Burt is a flurry of emotions; it’s a symptom of his disease. To say his moods are changeable is putting it mildly. When I came home from my outings today, for instance, he told me how rotten I had been this morning. After a PT session, heContinue reading “Per usual”
Getting to know you
I have focused on finding the Burt I know within the damaged man he’s become. Today, I realized that I needed to also look at who he is. It’s time to get to know my Burt as he is now. Getting to know him entails accepting the change. I know, I know he has dementiaContinue reading “Getting to know you”
More of Less
There is something both cute and heartbreaking when he says “my big chair” with the possessive enthusiasm of a child. This disease hurts every day in every way. It’s full of cuts to the heart, like when you find yourself taking pride in his remembering what day it is. Where is the smart, savvy, resourcefulContinue reading “More of Less”
Ego
I use this bit of insider knowledge as a tagline in my online communications with other caregivers. Caregiving turns out to be a Zen experience; little by little, we give over our ego to the care. We have to forgo that inevitable clash of egos in which we as couples engage. This is a positiveContinue reading “Ego”
Up up down up
Burt had two days of the grumps following our outing to the Thanksgiving Dinner and Dance. I realized this was a smaller version of the reaction I had read about, the slide that follows a big event. It was mild if unpleasant. On Wednesday, he told me what he liked about his aide was thatContinue reading “Up up down up”
Gratitude
It’s Thanksgiving, that Thursday in November we’ve designated as a day on which to be grateful. I am. I still have my Burt. His challenges come with heaps of love and appreciation. That’s to say he is grateful. He frequently thanks me for everything I do for him. He doesn’t forget to be appreciative ofContinue reading “Gratitude”
this is our life 