Burt loved tap and step dance, healthy Burt did. Burt during dementia gave Irish step a pass, at least he did on St. Paddy’s in 2023. I was reminded of this last night while watching a snippet of very enjoyable step dance at New York Irish Center. In deference to the many times we enjoyedContinue reading “To soothe”
Category Archives: memories
Rules are rules
There was a fierce snow storm many winters past, and Burt and I, restless with cabin fever, went to 65th Street for dinner. Mind you, Burt had a no-go-snow policy but I guess the exception proves the rule. This outing was memorable for the high greying icy mounds at each corner. On this corner, weContinue reading “Rules are rules”
Pictures
Things change
New York is a dynamic town. I discovered today that it’s Deutsche Bank [not Constantinople, er not Time Warner] Center. Shocking, these changes. Burt and I spent a lot of time at the Time Warner Center enjoying dinner or a jazz performance or both. For our anniversary or Valentine’s or a birthday one year weContinue reading “Things change”
A jog to my memory
When I passed a firehouse on W 19th where a fire truck was going on a call, I had a recollection. Long ago. Burt and I were passing a firehouse; one truck had just left and a fireman remained in the doorway. Burt engaged him in conversation and in minutes, we were looking at theContinue reading “A jog to my memory”
Burt’s stories
Burt always loved talking. Thanks to this gift of gab, I had heard all his recollections before he retold them to me after he got dementia. I knew about his teen loves, the two Marcias, and his guy friends Paul and Eddie. I heard about his after-school jobs at the camera shop and a grocery.Continue reading “Burt’s stories”
We met
Just a month into our first year together, Burt made it his mission to give my apartment a makeover. Once refurbished, it would be our apartment. I found a contractor whose credentials included solid quirkiness. Every few days, we were asked for more money to keep the project going. Burt was paying for the workContinue reading “We met”
Theater, or
Whatever favored activity I will make the case for theater as a healing art for those of us grieving a loss as well as it may be for a nation in crisis. Theater does not stand alone in its healing powers. Dance, you bopping to a tune while mopping the floors, or the variety youContinue reading “Theater, or”
Like we used to do
It’s not a flippant thought, really; I do find Burt coming with me, tagging along as I wander the city. Some places bring me memories of us. Some are new to me and I feel like we are exploring. Like we used to do. It’s pleasing to imagine, for instance, that I am introducing BurtContinue reading “Like we used to do”
Grieving the loss
Caregiving is the hardest job I ever had. Or, it was until Burt died and I suddenly had a much harder job. This, like my caring for him, is truly a labor of love. The work of missing Burt involves the pleasure of remembering him. It’s a consolation prize but not really a prize sinceContinue reading “Grieving the loss”
this is our life 