Last week I ran into a friend who now owns a bar-restaurant that Burt and I frequented; we hug, she offering me condolences and saying now you’ll live your bestlife. Then she’s telling me that Burt was a character. Hearing her assessment is a blessing. That day, I also ran into a Social Worker IContinue reading “I ran into…”
Category Archives: memories
The past
Finnegan’s Wake is on my path to the senior center. I must have walked by dozens of times, but it’s only today that I ran into the woman who owns the place. We exchanged hellos and haven’t seen you in a long time. I explained about Burt’s dementia and told her he’d died. It’s recent,Continue reading “The past”
Soothing
What would your life be like without music? Music was a big part of my care program for Burt. It is soothing to hear the lilt, the beat, the sounds. Burt usually responded positively to music. Neurologists have done studies that show the benefit of music for p.w.d.s. It is interesting that our loved onesContinue reading “Soothing”
Protected
Were you my protector? Perhaps. Yes, I can see you in that light; as My companion, and the one holding Me tight, your arms a protective Circle, you by my side, caring and Guiding. Protecting me, you, my Champion always by my side. You Were my protector. Yes, and my Companion, my friend, my loverContinue reading “Protected”
I remember
There is a phenomenon of memory that I am just now observing. It feels like it happens backwards. Let me clarify if I can: I am not drawn to act on the memory, rather it coincidentally comes to me as I go about doing what I would do. But, what I do is not coincidental.Continue reading “I remember”
Grief, grieving
Is it possible to turn grief into grievance? I accept that grieving has no timeline; I don’t want to shoo my grief away. In a way, it’s my grief that honors Burt. So what am I talking about? Is it the sense that long term grief is a kind of wallowing? Yes, that is partContinue reading “Grief, grieving”
Burton, Burton, Burton
Back to the “from before”
Here’s the story of the picture [L] with the Blues Brothers vibe; I’ve shared this at length with A. who was curious about this photo in my pictorial. It’s a memory from the 2nd year that Burt and I were together. We were invited to party for Judith E’s birthday–who was married to Jim M,Continue reading “Back to the “from before””
Burt and I always were goers before his dementia stopped us in our tracks. Lately, my lament has been that we should have done more during his decline. Gone to dinner, taken more walks. In part, this is a wish, that if we did more, we could’ve made more memories. I’ve mentioned his expressed desireContinue reading
Thinking about
Blogging about Burt feels self- aggrandizing. Sometimes, at any rate. Not writing about him feels negligent. Like only the blog will document who he was to me. In the context of our life together, it doesn’t matter how others will remember him. As his wife, I temper all of the difficult, easy, caring devotion withContinue reading “Thinking about”
this is our life 