The balance between giving your beloved directions and oversharing expectations is just another fulcrum of care. You never told me is a frequent complaint whether I did or not. I will plead guilty and mutter a oh I thought I mentioned and that old standby sorry. Tell him about an upcoming event or activity tooContinue reading “TMI”
Category Archives: Respect
A new low
Every progression brings a new dread. Burt has Lewy Body. I remind myself, and things could stabilize or revert to an earlier…. There was a glimmer of that last night. For all his earnest outpouring of ideas and his studied tone, most of his talk made no sense. As it is so often these days,Continue reading “A new low”
In appreciation
Burt is still a difficult man. The diagnosis didn’t change that. He had quirks that irked when he was healthy. Let’s be honest, if you’re married, then your spouse has an annoying habit or two. His illness had me step back a little. It put my annoyance in perspective. The anxiety he’d lived with allContinue reading “In appreciation”
The good and the…
When I blog about Burt’s Lewy, I am not sure that I am being respectful of his dignity. I don’t know how he would respond if he knew I was sharing his worst moments as well as his best. I share much of our life experiences in the spirit of caring and love with whichContinue reading “The good and the…”
Giving my best. Doing my best
Burt expects me to deliver my best self. He knows it doesn’t always happen. “I’m doing the best I can” is often dismissed as not good enough. Sometimes, it’s met without challenge and accepted. Forgiven or forgotten. The other day, when we established that no aide would be with us, Burt asked me if IContinue reading “Giving my best. Doing my best”
Promptly
Do you need a break? From what? In my context, the context of this blog, the answer is sadly obvious. Do I need a break from caregiving? Yes, I am sure I do. I am sure any of us in these circumstances does. What’s more, I am sure we all wish we didn’t. Wouldn’t itContinue reading “Promptly”
Calm down
When I am unable to accomplish something with Burt, I don’t stay calm. Burt, sounding reasonable, tells me to calm down. This guidance is wise. My panicking and consequently screaming louder at him tends to have the unwelcome opposite effect. He has done nothing wrong as he is quick to point out. For the mostContinue reading “Calm down”
“Let them do the things they can”
Excellent piece of advice, that. It may have come from Teepa Snow, our dementia-whisperer. For me and perhaps you, if you are a caregiver to a pwd, it’s hard not to do for, decide for, control the experience. To my curiosity (and a touch of my being annoyed), Burt got ticked off while waiting forContinue reading ““Let them do the things they can””
I’m a person too
In the midst of all the losses- Burt is distressed that he has no job, I took his money, everyone in his life feels they can boss him – he will say, “I’m a person too.” This plea for respect and dignity is in part complaint and in part a request. It never references hisContinue reading “I’m a person too”
Funny ? Story
The rehab center is also a warehouse for some of its inmates. It provides far from optimum care. I wanted Burt to be capable to move around once at home. To that end, I kept him there two and a half months. Until recently, he still complained to people that “they didn’t tell you whenContinue reading “Funny ? Story”
this is our life 