There are so many words but I have only used loss; I’ve only Said “I’m mourning” or “I mourn” I have said “I miss you” and I’ve Mentioned that as I missed you, You were also missing. I knew You were lost and losing little Bits of yourself over time which I noticed you hadContinue reading “Grieving”
Category Archives: Sadness
Sorrow
Grief is not something you want to fix. I mean, I feel as if I am frequently trying to fix my saddness. It’s illogical. And not something I really want. Sorrow is an irrational passage. Grief is a process that like other life experiences yanks us in all directions and often doesn’t make sense. MourningContinue reading “Sorrow”
Sadder
There will be days like these.. the line is from a rock n roll song. My mama said… it goes on… and it is only a caption, not the whole story. More to the point, those of us who are mourning know that there will be bad days and better days. Sad days and betterContinue reading “Sadder”
Loving Burt. Losing Burt.
To care and protect
My mission since Burt’s diagnosis [the big scary dx] more than 4 years ago has been to protect him. Of course. That’s it. I have pinpointed my malaise. I can’t fix this as one of the prompts in my grief writing support group put it. That phrase sums up my frustration in the most succinctContinue reading “To care and protect”
Me me me Time
A Lament Let’s face it, I have me-time even when I sit with Burt. (How do you think these blogs get written?) Most of the time, there are no pressing and time-consuming needs. There’s a little quiet conversation. It’s not challenging or sustained. Often, it doesn’t even include me as Burt’s focused on some fantomContinue reading “Me me me Time”
It’s not imminent
We all die alone; it’s our ownPersonal drama. Noone should Take our spotlight. I will stayAs witness. I will not let him goAlone. I will be the chorus to hisAgamennon, the Fool to his Lear Burt’s decline, as I have mulled it over and over, is a dark time for me. It is also darkContinue reading “It’s not imminent”
Found poetry
No, not a form of new age writing, just a poem which in our current context is sad. I envy you,remembering theaddresses of yourchildhood I remember nothingNot even grudges orThe names of friends or neighbors If memory is all we haveI have only you and ouryears togetherI remember all thatEvery touch, every tender moment MemoriesContinue reading “Found poetry”
A deep dive
In the abstract, I am fascinated by the mechanisms of Burt’s disease. In reality, the manifestations of Lewy Body are overwhelmingly sad. Trying to deduce patterns is part of my close study into all things Burt. I want to see what prompts his irrational conclusions and how his fantasies develop. There probably is no pattern,Continue reading “A deep dive”
A poem
It was, well still is, a beautiful Day, full of autumn’s promise,Crisp with expectation. I amSorry you missed it, my love.Staying inside, sluggish withYour special imaginings andDisconnected from seasonsAs they pass. I so want youPresent and here with me inThe warm of fall as it beginsTo cool. It’s a season I haveAlways enjoyed most ofContinue reading “A poem”
this is our life 