Burt’s dad drove a taxi. I found this cab keychain at an outing at the Museum of the City of New York. I made it a habit of bringing some item home to Burt from my time out of the house. Food was always a hit, tchotchkes (even when they linked to his history) lessContinue reading “Taxi, taxi”
Tag Archives: #about-our-journey
I ran into…
Last week I ran into a friend who now owns a bar-restaurant that Burt and I frequented; we hug, she offering me condolences and saying now you’ll live your bestlife. Then she’s telling me that Burt was a character. Hearing her assessment is a blessing. That day, I also ran into a Social Worker IContinue reading “I ran into…”
Forgive me
Burt died at home. I’m glad I was able to take care of him at home for most of his struggle with LBD. Burt died at home, but I was not there at his moment of passing. Burt passed sometime between the moment I left home to walk to the gym and the ten minutesContinue reading “Forgive me”
Emotional logic
We like to think that we’re logical creatures but our minds belie this hope. Logic is buried in a web of emotions. Burt, it seemed, wasn’t aware that I went with him to the park on our weekend outings. I noticed this when I recapped the Sunday. We went to the pickleball court, I said.Continue reading “Emotional logic”
The journey
As Burt’s dementia proceeded, I noticed aspects of his character I had not noticed or paid attention to while he was well. These were not new; it was what he’d always had to offer. I just hadn’t noticed or paid attention to them before. His illness put me more in tune with him. Honestly, IContinue reading “The journey”
Accountable
It feels like I should have control over my feelings, my memories, my past and my future. The jumble sale that is a life can be so much messier than any accounting of it suggests. Well, in 1990, I did this; actually, I met Burt, so it was a big year. In 1992, we gotContinue reading “Accountable”
Thinking about
Blogging about Burt feels self- aggrandizing. Sometimes, at any rate. Not writing about him feels negligent. Like only the blog will document who he was to me. In the context of our life together, it doesn’t matter how others will remember him. As his wife, I temper all of the difficult, easy, caring devotion withContinue reading “Thinking about”
Burt and I
Mourning and loss isn’t an illness. We don’t want to recover from it. We don’t expect to recover. We do, of course, hope to get past the initial shock and sadness. But the loss, that’s now and forever. The loss is permanent. Burt’s not coming back. I mourn that loss. It saddens me to have toContinue reading “Burt and I”
From some writing session prompts
Resilient: hey, tough guy Burt in dementia was clearly and increasingly vulnerable. His losses were evident, yet, through it all, he maintained a resilience that served him well. I thought I was steering the ship but my captain somehow kept his hand on the rudder. We bobbed through troubled waters with Burt somehow maintaining anContinue reading “From some writing session prompts”
The journey
You and your spouse are on this journey together, and apart. You stand by his side, but his path is not the same as yours. Lewy Body Dementia is a disease built for two, as I had often observed over the years. When your spouse is stricken, you and s/he are both in it forContinue reading “The journey”
this is our life 