Inspired by an episode of IMO Burt had been my best friend in so many ways for the 30 years of our marriage before his illness. We shared so much. We went to lunch and we went to the theater. We even worked together. Listen to the IMO episode where Michelle Obama and her bigContinue reading “Friendship”
Tag Archives: #affirmations
Nearly 12,775 days
As I glance at the photo of our wedding, I say to Burt “That was the best day of my life.” It was, but actually, nearly all of the nearly 12,775 days I spent with you were the best. That day, May 1992, came after two years of getting-to-know-yous and adjustments. It was a lifeContinue reading “Nearly 12,775 days”
A great find
Noodling around my video cache, I found a 6 minute video in which Burton is speaking. We are snacking at the rehab. It’s dated April 2023. He is sweet and really enjoying his sweets. Among the dialog is his request I bring one cappucino instead of the latte. I say “But you like latte.” BurtContinue reading “A great find”
For May 3rd: games
And ice breakers The party for Burt on our 35th anniversary was a treat. There was so much loving energy in that room that we all knew he was there. It was unnecessary but I had prepared a little ice breaker based on the Burt approach. He made friends in our building both before LewyContinue reading “For May 3rd: games”
Bluey redux
Several children were delighted by my wearing my Bluey t-shirt today. There was also one father, a friend who had a picture of his tyke with the characters on his phone, who was pleased by my choice of attire. We agreed that Bluey was the best father. When I first discovered the iconic cartoon IContinue reading “Bluey redux”
Back to basics
It would be impossible to survive this journey without love, or kindness, or compassion. I have held firm in this belief from the beginning. I now know how much love, kindness and compassion can buoy me in grief as well. The fourth pillar of caregiving is respite. Proper time for the carer to fuel andContinue reading “Back to basics”
Unsolicited
If you are a caregiver, I am going to give you some advice. Remind yourself that you love your person with dementia. Love is complicated. Caring is love. Holding love makes the journey easier. Applaud yourself for the care, patience and [yes] love you are giving. Applaud yourself for the compassion you are living. CareContinue reading “Unsolicited”
Losing him again
He’s been several people over the past many months. Well, this is not at all unexpected; aren’t we all many people over a lifespan. I look at him sleeping now and regret that I can’t recall with any confidence what he was like two months ago or four years ago. I know who he isContinue reading “Losing him again”
Valentine’s: a deeper shade of red
I am going to mix the art references like a can of V-8, so apologies up front. Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I know that for those of us who are caregiving, it’s acquired a new and more shaded meaning. For me, the romantic love at which Cupid’s arrow signals, has a patina of sadness. It hasContinue reading “Valentine’s: a deeper shade of red”
The practice of care
Best practices include the care of our darlings but as caregivers we need to look out for ourselves. Care for the caregiver includes respite, a topic dear to me and upon which I have expostulated at length. Self-care can and should be done in the company of others. Spend time with friends. I have lunchContinue reading “The practice of care”
this is our life 