Anyone concerned over Burt’s immortal soul should take heart. This morning, he was thanking god. Repeatedly. Mostly for me; I qvell. He was fast asleep before 6 last night and up about 5 this morning. We had an excellent time as he “discovered” we were married. “You’re so nice to me.” He ate well, too.Continue reading “Cyclin’”
Tag Archives: #Capgras
Lewy lou-ie
I can do nothing to make Burt know who I am. I feel like I should be able to force the issue somehow. It is heedless and needless to allow his who-are-you’s to distress me. It’s the disease. Our weekly outings are very exhausting. In the evening, when we get home, he has to askContinue reading “Lewy lou-ie”
Doubts
Burt’s asking me who I am is creating a fault line in my self- confidence. I mean, I am still pretty sure who I am. Just not always sure who he thinks I am. When it was clear, for instance, that his pushy wife was becoming a pain, I was able to own up. IContinue reading “Doubts”
Projections
The other morning, Burt told me that I was losing my mind. I was saddened by his matter of fact tone as much as by the message. He had some additional wisdom when he informed me that going to the gym was killing me. Delusional trains chug through our days and evenings. In the earlyContinue reading “Projections”
Mid night thoughts May 7th
It’s a pernicious disease that has outsmarted us both, and Burt and I are pretty smart. Lewy Body Dementia has made its wily way into our lives. I have been split into fragmented personalities some of them adored some abhorred others tolerated. Burt is never fully alone except when he dreams I have abandoned him.Continue reading “Mid night thoughts May 7th”
So many of us
Burt, in one of the many moments of uncertainty about who I am, “met” a woman in our living room. As is his wont on these occasions, he interrogated me thoroughly. There was nothing I could say to convince him he was talking to me, his actual wife. As he does with all the Tamaras,Continue reading “So many of us”
Bitter Sweet
This is what I shared with a group of my fellow LBD spouses about our 32nd anniversary: It’s the anniversary we’re not celebrating this Friday. I am so glad we did have his 84th surprise party and my birthday with friends when he was able to engage and enjoy. Burt’s current downturn makes those recent celebrationsContinue reading “Bitter Sweet”
That touch of spring
Last night Burt, thinking I was his (need I say deceased) mother said he was getting married to a girl from Carolina. He said his wife didn’t love him; she used to but it’s died out.Well, that did it! After a while, I fessed up to being his wife and said I was hurt. HeContinue reading “That touch of spring”
Who?
We were guaranteed that our LBD spouse wouldn’t forget who we are, but that’s a little complicated. Burt has such extreme Capgras that he asks me who I am many times each day. Also, he complains about the “other one” who forces him to eat. The syndrome is one in which your person with dementiaContinue reading “Who?”
this is our life 