It’s hard to resist the urge to say “really? Really, you don’t know that your first wife was named Susan?” Just one of a series of “really’s” that his infliction brings to the fore. As we’re on a high of successes, his confusion is more unwelcome. I feel it like the contradiction pulling me downContinue reading “The confusion”
Tag Archives: #changes
Confused
Confusion comes and goes 🎢 with “Benny Blue.” 🎢 For instance, Burt’s level had seemingly hit a high water (or maybe I should say low water) mark. Then today, the word-scramble went back to his normal. Yesterday, he didn’t recognize the term he had been using to describe his dementia; he had called it “BennyContinue reading “Confused”
When things change
We have a rhythm to our journey. Like the clacking of train tracks, it tends to be uneven. His mood changes, and his love, constant but as changeable as the seasons of his moods, comes under their fire. It ebbs and flows but always can be seen rippling under the changes. He returns to meContinue reading “When things change”
Dementia in the news
Sandra Day O’Connor died several weeks ago of complications from dementia. Rosalynn Carter was 96 when she passed and had suffered from dementia as well. These days dementia is often the diagnosis. Sandra Day O’Connor had made “dementia” news before. When her husband was in memory care, he began an affair with a woman atContinue reading “Dementia in the news”
What’s next?
The declines are small things, almost unnoticeable. As you give care, however, those little indications don’t go unnoticed. At least not for long. It is the unremarkable that catches your attention, or rather niggles at your consciousness. It suddenly occurred to me that Burt’s acceptance that I hold the water glass for him was partContinue reading “What’s next?”
Per usual
It’s a premise I have advanced here before. Burt is a flurry of emotions; it’s a symptom of his disease. To say his moods are changeable is putting it mildly. When I came home from my outings today, for instance, he told me how rotten I had been this morning. After a PT session, heContinue reading “Per usual”
Getting to know you
I have focused on finding the Burt I know within the damaged man he’s become. Today, I realized that I needed to also look at who he is. It’s time to get to know my Burt as he is now. Getting to know him entails accepting the change. I know, I know he has dementiaContinue reading “Getting to know you”
Aspirational
Let me confess that I am aspiring to a better path on this journey. I am far from treading that road. I boss him. He hates that. When he “throws me out,” instead of saying “never,” I say “OK see you around.” I need to say “I will never ever leave you.” Not only isContinue reading “Aspirational”
More of Less
There is something both cute and heartbreaking when he says “my big chair” with the possessive enthusiasm of a child. This disease hurts every day in every way. It’s full of cuts to the heart, like when you find yourself taking pride in his remembering what day it is. Where is the smart, savvy, resourcefulContinue reading “More of Less”
Day into night
Agitation and upset come into every life, but they are harder for your person with dementia. Losing time is a frequent confusion. When Burt first presented with symptoms, the topsy-turvyness of his days was distressing to me. It confused him that it was 7 at night and not the morning, but he seemed OK withContinue reading “Day into night”
this is our life 