Healing after losing the one you love is not really about moving on. It’s about honoring and it’s about remembering. It’s also about finding joy. A word I am flinging around these days as if it were a flag to the future. It is important. Significantly, it also helps to continue to support others goingContinue reading “Supporting”
Author Archives: TheRealTamara
Some days
My grief regimen has been to keep really busy. There are some days that the activities don’t take me out in the whirlwind. I was feeling guilty those days, and then I thought, Why? It’s ok to stay home listening to an audio book or podcasts, writing or drawing. It’s ok to just be. AtContinue reading “Some days”
Don’t give up
As I was looking for a reference in some posts past, I found this amazing quote from Burt: “Don’t give up on loving me,” my very sleepy sweetheart said, holding my hand. As he drifted off to sleep, Burt called me over [why does everything have to be shared as a secret (sigh)?]. Despite myContinue reading “Don’t give up”
Reinvention
There’s a lot of re-inventing the wheel for us when we become caregivers. It makes sense that we have to learn how to deal with the many difficulties of dementia when it strikes. We have to learn to take on the responsibility for another person. We have to learn how to take care of ourselves.Continue reading “Reinvention”
Joy
In my post Advice, I said that I found joy during our journey with Burt’s dementia. It sounds Pollyanna-ish, so let me expound. Caring for someone you love is a gift of grace. The gift is reciprocal, so when Burt was aware enough to thank me, that thanks was my gift. When he wasn’t aware,Continue reading “Joy”
Advice
From the perspective of after My message for you, preparing for life with and then after, is that you find the joy. There was plenty of joy in caring for Burt. It was sometimes a discovery of who he was under the patina of our marriage; sometimes it was enjoying his jokes, and more importantlyContinue reading “Advice”
Midtown west
Our old stomping ground After the hard years, I get to remember and celebrate all the good years New York City Center has been restored beautifully. It’s a bright elegant spot even with all the superb theatrical venues the City sports. I have been a habituée for longer than you need to know. [Hey, itContinue reading “Midtown west”
To soothe
Burt loved tap and step dance, healthy Burt did. Burt during dementia gave Irish step a pass, at least he did on St. Paddy’s in 2023. I was reminded of this last night while watching a snippet of very enjoyable step dance at New York Irish Center. In deference to the many times we enjoyedContinue reading “To soothe”
Isn’t It Romantic
I am a romantic. It was not always thus. I had once been a self-prescribed pragmatist. I wouldn’t be surprised if life with Burt is what turned me into a sentimental sort. I’m sure it has. When we met, I was determined to find a life partner. I was lonely living alone and it was time. IContinue reading “Isn’t It Romantic”
I have some theories
Burt had panic attacks all of his life. By the time we got together the anxiety was mostly and as time went on increasingly under control. Anxiety is one of the symptoms that plague those with Lewy Body Dementia. Burt’s anxiety during his years with this illness was mild although we had some concerns aboutContinue reading “I have some theories”
this is our life 